RWBits!
by Outlaw Team
Summary: Little RWBY stories that take place in the same AU, mainly revolving around Ruby getting her hands on things she really shouldn't be allowed to touch. Random crossovers are also bound to happen!
1. Chapter 1

**This is that start of what I hope to be a series. A series that involves random stories of random activities or crossovers. *evil laughter* And White Rose of course! This chapter we have some special guests! Shadow's hoverskates! (borrowed, not stolen!)**

* * *

Weiss was not prepared. She was simply not prepared for any of this.

Ruby was hyperactive enough without hoverskates.

Weiss watched as Ruby sped by. _"Why me?"_

Ruby laughed as she skated around. "This is so cool!"

Yang and Blake were also watching.

"Ruby! Do the flip again!" Yang called out.

Ruby smirked. "Got it!" She jumped and curled up, spinning before landing on her feet. "Yeah!"

Yang laughed. "Wherever she got those, I need to find so I can get some too."

"So I can have two hyperactive morons!?" Weiss snapped as she crossed her arms.

"It isn't that bad-"

"She used me as an obstacle!"

"…"

"And she didn't avoid me by-the-way!"

"Ok, now I get what you're saying." Yang patted Weiss on the back. "Well, there are some advantages to this as well. It's not every day you see Ruby wearing something besides her dress."

"It's a combat skirt!" Ruby went by again, indeed wearing a tank top and jeans instead of her combat skirt.

"…then she picked me up and skated up the side of a building! I almost had a heart attack!" Weiss added.

Yang nudged Weiss with her shoulder. "You're missing the point, Weiss. This is a great chance to see Ruby in some nice poses~"

Weiss froze. "Y-you-! What are you trying to say!?"

Ruby happened to get into a pose that showed off her well-defined abs, making Weiss blush even more.

"You know what I'm saying~" Yang nudged Weiss again.

"You dolt!" Weiss stood up and stormed away.

Ruby stopped skating. "What's with Weiss?"

"She's just being moody," Yang answered.

Blake didn't look up from her book. "Maybe you should let someone else try the skates."

Ruby thought about this for a little bit before smiling. She skated away. "Jaune! You need to try this!"

* * *

Weiss sat on a bench just outside of Beacon, having deemed the place peaceful enough.

That is until Jaune screamed by.

"…what the hell?" Weiss looked at the trail of dust Jaune left behind.

Jaune went by again, obviously not in control of the skates he was wearing. "Help me, snow angel!"

Weiss pulled a book from the bag she had with her and proceeded to read. "Don't get involved…"

Ruby ran after Jaune. "Just turn them off!"

"How do I do that!?" Jaune yelled.

"…I don't know! They just turned off when I wanted them to!"

"Well I want them turned off, and they're still going!"

Ruby stopped chasing after Jaune and collapsed on the bench next to Weiss. "This was a bad idea…"

"Dismantle the skates, Ruby. You can't be this dense." Weiss looked up from her book.

"…why didn't I think of that? Thanks Weiss!" Ruby squeezed Weiss in a quick hug before running off again.

Weiss blushed at the quick contact. She watched Ruby run after Jaune. "…I forgot that she needs to stop him from going everywhere. Well…she can figure it out." She returned to her book.

Ruby ran by again, now running away from Jaune. "Stop, Jaune! STOP!"

"I can't!" Jaune yelled.

"Just straighten out! They're hoverskates, not roller blades!"

Weiss looked up from her book again and sighed. She encircled Jaune's legs with a binding glyph to try to hold him in place.

The pressure from the skates between the glyph and the ground ended up shooting Jaune straight up like a rocket.

Jaune screamed like a little girl as he spiraled through the air and almost hit the ground.

Weiss caught him upside down with another binding glyph. "There. He isn't going to be moving."

Ruby got to work dismantling the skates. "You're never using the skates ever again."

"I can live with that…" Jaune groaned, content that he had finally stopped moving.

Ruby finally cut the power from the skates, allowed Jaune to stand up straight and slip out of the pieces of metal.

"That was insane…"

"I know, right!?" Yang called as she ran to catch up. "That was awesome!"

Blake was following Yang, but she happened to now be limping. "It was not! I thought he was going to kill me!"

"I'm sorry, ok!? Those things have minds of their own!" Jaune flopped onto the ground, seemingly having no intention of moving.

Ruby finished putting the skates back together. "Actually, it looks like the skates absorb aura. Your lack of aura control sent you on a crash course. Makes sense now that I think about it…"

Jaune grunted from his place on the ground.

"Welp! They're mine again!" Ruby quickly put the skates back on.

Weiss sighed. _"Normally I would ask myself if something worse will happen soon, but asking that will only guarantee it."_

* * *

"YAAAAANG! I told you not to wear those!" Ruby ran after Yang.

Weiss groaned, a headache forming. "I should have known. I should have known…" She was trying to train in the outdoor student training area, but it seemed Yang had deemed the area a good place to try Ruby's hoverskates.

Yang whooped as she sped by. "These are awesome!"

Weiss returned to hitting a punching bag. She knew that while Yang was around, she would need to be prepared for some unarmed combat.

Yang skated past Weiss. "What are you trying to do with your little, toothpick arms, Weiss?" she constantly teased Weiss as she went by.

Ruby ran by. "Sorry, Weiss! I'm trying to get her out of here!"

"Not happening, Rubes! I am a free woman!" Yang teasingly jumped over Ruby.

Weiss was less than amused. She used a glyph to launch her punching bag into the air.

The punching bag just happened to land squarely on Yang's head.

Yang spiraled but quickly recovered. "Ow…"

"Just take off my skates, Yang!" Ruby snapped.

"But I'm having too much fun! I would **skate** to have it end so suddenly!"

Weiss groaned from how simply terrible that pun was.

Yang flashed a grin that scared Weiss to no end. "Better cover my escape!" She started skating at Weiss.

"Yang! You'd better not-!" Weiss turned around and started to run away. "Don't you dare!"

Yang sped past Weiss and launched her away with a compressed burst of air from the hoverskates.

Ruby quickly caught Weiss in midair. "Dammit Yang! Just give up the skates!"

Sadly, launching Weiss did prove a good enough distraction to help Yang escape.

"Oum dammit, Yang…" Ruby looked down, finally noticing she hadn't put Weiss down yet. She quickly stood Weiss back up.

Weiss cleared her throat, a visible blush now on her face. "That was a thing…"

Ruby blushed as well. "Yeah, she launched you… I caught you… Yeah… I…should go." She ran off.

Weiss stood there in silence for a while.

Ruby ran back, Yang hot on her tail. "Crap-crap-crap!"

Weiss shook her head. _"Called it."_

* * *

"Please, Weiss! Please!"

Weiss didn't even care to remember how she now had Ruby on her knees, begging for her to try the hoverskates.

"Yang won't give the skates back if you don't!" Ruby added.

Yang walked into the room, still wearing the skates in question. "Yeah! Come on, Weiss!"

Weiss glared at the both of them. "No."

"Come on, Weiss! I even reserved a private area for you to try them! It will be awesome!"

"No! I am not trying those things on!"

Ruby looked at Weiss and started shedding fake tears. "Weiss…"

Weiss glared at Ruby. "Not happening!"

Ruby widened her eyes, making sure that her eyes would burn into Weiss's very soul.

Weiss frowned, her resolve breaking. "…no."

Ruby knew she had Weiss right where she wanted her. She only needed one last push.

That meant not blinking for a whole extra minute.

"…Weiss, my eyes are burning. Is your resolve going to break or not?"

Weiss groaned as she moved over to Yang to grab the skates. "Fine, but I'm not paying for your cookies for the rest of the week."

Ruby frowned. "The price for hoverskates…"

Yang grinned and patted Weiss on the back. "Great choice!"

* * *

And so here Weiss was, in a random empty training room.

Weiss turned to Yang. "Reserved a private area, huh?"

Yang shrugged. "More like locked the door behind us, but this works, right?"

Ruby seemed a little worried. "…maybe we can rewrite this deal, Yang…"

Weiss glared at Ruby. "Are you saying I can't control some stupid skates?"

Ruby shook her head. "No! That isn't what I'm saying at all! It's just…your aura is different from ours… Something could go wrong…"

"I'll be fine." Weiss put slipped into the skates.

The skates started to spark.

Ruby frowned when the skates didn't turn on. "See?"

Yang frowned. "Maybe I left out a part when I cleaned the components earlier…" She left the room, closing the door behind her.

Weiss frowned at the skates. "…I am rather happy that these didn't work actually."

The skates started sparking livelier, sending out a puff of compressed air to show they still worked.

"Eep!" Weiss held her skirt down in embarrassment when the air threatened to flip it up.

Then the skates turned on at full blast.

Weiss now knew how bad of an idea her combat skirt was as she tried to hold the skirt down, a blush forming on her face. "R-Ruby! Turn them off!" She kept balanced so she wasn't moving anywhere.

Ruby blushed when she saw a little more than she should have. _"Sh-shimapan!"_ She shook her head to try to forget what she had just seen, completely failing to do so. "They're aura powered! Pull back your aura!"

Weiss closed her eyes as her blush intensified. "I tried already! They're not turning off!"

Ruby stumbled words as she tried to think of something. "Did Yang modify the absorption panels? No…that's not in her knowledge…" She froze when something came to mind. "…your aura is too strong…"

"What!?"

"Your aura is too strong to lower to the level required to turn off the skates…" Ruby explained.

"Then dismantle the skates!" Weiss snapped.

"Are you crazy!? For Jaune, it was easy! Your aura could cause detonation!"

Weiss honestly looked like she was losing her marbles. "Then what do I do!?"

"Wait for your aura to run out! Should only take an hour at this rate!" Ruby answered.

The two stayed in relative silence for a few seconds.

Weiss blushed even harder and closed her eyes. "R-Ruby… My arms are getting tired…"

Ruby honestly wasn't opposed to Weiss letting go of her skirt, but she would never say that flat out. "Um…I…" She shook her head in confusion. "I don't even know what to do anymore!"

Yang chose that terrible moment to reenter the room. "Hello~! Didn't find any missing parts so-" She froze when she saw Ruby scrambling around and Weiss trying to preserve her modesty. "-oh…"

"Xiao Long! Find some way to turn these off right now!" Weiss snapped.

Yang started backing up to the door. "I don't know what to do! Ruby's the nerd here!"

Ruby just sputtered over words. "…Yang! Bring me my tools!"

Yang grinned. "I might…"

"Yang, this isn't the time!"

"Tell me what panties Weiss is wearing. I need to settle a bet with Blake."

"Yang!"

"Pervert!" Weiss added before squealing in embarrassment.

Ruby stood in silence for a few moments. "Are you seriously making this deal, Yang?"

Yang nodded. "You bet your bucket I am!"

"Not even a saying!" Weiss snapped.

Yang struck a pose. "For the righteous act of obtaining twenty dollars from Blake, I must have an answer to this question!"

Ruby frowned. "…let's redo your deal Yang." She wrapped her arm around Yang's shoulders. "They're striped," Ruby quickly whispered, making sure Weiss couldn't hear.

Yang frowned. "Dammit!" She stormed out of the room.

Ruby wiped some sweat from her forehead as she pulled out the one tool she kept with her. "Ok, Weiss… Cross your fingers and hope the skates don't detonate into an explosion the size of a dwarf sun." She crouched next to Weiss and slowly started removing panels from the skates. "It's times like these that I wish who the original owner of these skates was…"

"You took possibly dangerous tech without asking about it!?" Weiss snapped, shaking more as her hands continued to grow more tired.

"I was kind of overwhelmed at the chances of finding something so cool in the middle of nowhere…"

Yang came back in with Ruby's tools. "Here you go, Rubes!"

Ruby took the tools and quickly continued her work. "Leave, Yang."

"Well fine… Good luck." Yang mumbled and left the room.

* * *

 _Meanwhile a few miles away…_

Two humanoid hedgehogs looked around Vale, one of them blue and the other one black with touches of red.

Sonic sighed. "Shads, we ain't finding them! I already told ya!"

"Don't call me 'Shads'," Shadow growled.

"They're hoverskates for God's sake! Someone probably found them and is already using them! Just let Tails build you a new pair!"

"People using them is exactly the point of finding them! They could make an explosion the size of a dwarf sun, bending all of reality!" Shadow argued.

"Now what are the chances of that? It would take someone with power that rivals yours!" Sonic argued back.

The sound of an explosion was heard from miles away.

Shadow scowled as he turned in the direction of the explosion.

The shockwaves finally reached them, reality slightly bending in response.

Sonic chuckled nervously, now looking like his _Sonic Boom_ redesign due to the dimensional line shifting. "I…retract my previous statement…"

Shadow growled as he started to pull Sonic along by his spines. "Let's go, faker. Your friend needs to make me new skates."

"Aren't we going to check if that explosion hurt anyone?"

"No, faker. That would mean getting involved. Getting involved would mean taking blame."

* * *

Ruby pulled herself from the wall she got cratered into. "Owie…" She looked around. "Weiss?" She froze when she saw a rather large crater in the ground. "OH DUST, WEISS!"

"I'm ok…" Weiss groaned from the crater. She looked over herself to make sure she didn't have any mortal wounds. She brushed some debris off herself but froze when she noticed a scrap of white cloth. She looked around, noticing the scraps littered the area around her.

That was when she noticed what the explosion had done to her clothes, now only being left with mostly-shredded undergarments.

Ruby looked over the edge of the crater, looking for Weiss. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Eyes met and faces went red.

Weiss's scream could be heard throughout all of Beacon.

* * *

One week later…

The dorm was rather quiet, only the sounds of writing and Ruby's radio being audible.

Ruby and Weiss sat awkwardly at the desk they shared for studying, both writing papers for their history class.

Yang entered the dorm with a piece of machinery under her arm. "Guys! You gotta check this out! There's a place in town selling extreme gear! They've got hoverskates, hoverboards, hoverbikes, the whole enchilada!"

Weiss and Ruby turned to each other, deep blushes forming on their faces. They quickly turned away.

Weiss stood up and took Yang's hoverboard. "Get out!" She slammed the board into Yang's head. "I don't want to see another one of these things for another month! And maybe then it will still be too soon!"

"All right, all right! Geez! I'm going!" Yang groaned as she left the dorm, holding her head in pain.

Weiss moved back to her seat, promptly throwing Yang's board into the trash bin on her way there.

Ruby giggled nervously. "I guess Yang's hopes just got **boarded** up!"

The room fell into silence.

Weiss glared at Ruby. "Get out."

* * *

 **Yeah... Choppy writing is choppy... I've gotten really rusty when it comes to writing... Leave me a review! Maybe suggest something for later chapters!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two! I got such a good reaction from chapter one that I rushed this off the shelves! Today, we sadly have no crossovers or Ruby getting her hands on something she shouldn't. I said a good bit if not most of the chapters would be like that, not all of them. Need to develop this AU somehow don't I?**

* * *

Team RWBY looked at what remained of their oven.

"…quite a recipe, Weiss," Blake commented.

"Yeah, a recipe for disaster," Yang added.

The two exchanged a fist bump.

Weiss sighed and put her hands on her head. "What is wrong with me? All I did was try to make cookies…"

Ruby frowned. "I think we're onto something here. You blow up the stove when you make spaghetti, you blow up the oven when you make cookies, you blow up the microwave when you make popcorn-"

"I get it, Ruby!" Weiss snapped. "I can't cook worth a crap! Oum damn it! **I get it!** "

"I was going to ask you to try to make toast first, but I guess you came to the conclusion on your own!" Ruby pulled out her tools and some parts to repair the oven.

"Well where do we go from here? It's Weiss's night to cook!" Yang claimed. "I can't cook two nights in a row, because I can only make-"

"-Satan's fury. Yes, Yang, we all know you like to make things spicy," Blake interrupted.

Weiss sighed and pulled out her scroll. "Takeout?"

"Just because you can afford to get takeout every night doesn't mean you should," Ruby argued.

Weiss groaned. "It's that or the-"

The stove detonated.

"Oh right. I was making stew as well."

Ruby facepalmed. "Why me?"

Blake sprayed the stove with a fire extinguisher. "I will teach Weiss to cook then."

"Wait, you can cook?" Ruby asked as she started to repair the oven.

Blake rolled her eyes. "I got my culinary degree from the _Générique école culinaire français_ in Atlas. I'm sure I can make something."

"Are you sure this won't **go up in flames**?" Yang said, laughing at her wordplay.

Blake sprayed Yang with the fire extinguisher. "No! Bad Yang!"

"Fire extinguisher! My one weakness!" Yang wailed as she dropped to the ground.

Ruby sighed. "Guess this is our best option. What do you think, Weiss?"

The microwave detonated simply because Weiss was in the room.

Weiss looked at the carnage she had brought upon their kitchen. "I wouldn't be opposed to it."

"We start tomorrow." Blake pulled out her scroll. "But for tonight, takeout is unavoidable."

* * *

Ruby slumped into bed, having been up the entire night repairing the kitchen appliances. She started to close her eyes, eager for the time of peace that awaited-

An explosion shook the dorm.

 _Bye bye, Mr. Stove._ Ruby groaned and continued to close her eyes again. The bliss that is sleep coming-

The fire alarm went off.

Ruby lifted her Crescent Rose and shot the alarm. She began to close her eyes-

The sound of Blake using the fire extinguisher came from the kitchen.

 _Why!?_ Ruby pulled her pillow unto her head, hoping to block out the noise. She finally started to doze off-

"We're ok!" Blake yelled from the kitchen.

 _Oum damn it._ Ruby let out a very loud groan.

* * *

Ruby looked at the "food" that was presented to her. "…I thought you said she was improving?"

"She is. The stove is in one piece," Blake answered. "This may be her first omelet."

"I don't think this classifies under that category." Ruby pulled out a fork and started poking the concoction.

First of all, and omelet wasn't supposed to be scrambled. Second of all, the ingredients should be recognizable. This abomination had none of those going for it.

Weiss was huddled up in the corner, muttering German words as a dark aura radiated off of her.

"Weiss is trying so hard…" Ruby frowned as she scooped some of the concoction onto her fork. "I'm gonna try it!"

Yang burst into the room. "Don't do it, Ruby! You still have so much to live for!"

Ruby had already put the scoop into her mouth and started to chew.

Weiss slowly turned around from her corner as time passed, everyone focused on Ruby.

Ruby smiled after swallowing. "It's not that bad!"

Weiss stood up from her corner. "Really!?"

Ruby nodded. "Could have beaten the eggshells a little longer but-" She collapsed.

Weiss was immediately at Ruby's side. " **Oh dust! I poisoned Ruby!** "

* * *

"Easy…" Blake watched Weiss's every movement. "Take it easy…"

All Weiss was doing was spreading butter on a slice of toast, and she was just as scared as Blake was. "I'm trying!"

"Calm down, Weiss! We'll get through this together!" Ruby encouraged. She wasn't really helping due to the fact that she was still sick from the omelet incident. She took a second to vomit into the bucket she now carried with her.

Weiss finished spreading the butter. "…did I do it?"

Blake narrowed her eyes. "…I think so…"

Ruby grinned. "Yeah! It's in one piece!"

The toast spontaneously combusted.

"…you jinxed it, Ruby." Blake sprayed the toast with the fire extinguisher she now kept with her out of habit.

Weiss dropped to her knees. "I can't do it… I can't even make toast…"

The toaster exploded in response.

Weiss just stayed on the floor. "…I feel hopeless…"

Ruby watched Weiss as she started muttering German words again. "…are you crying?"

"I am not!"

Blake grabbed Weiss by her jacket and started to drag her away. "There is only one person in the world that can fix this. I don't want to do this, Weiss, but we have no choice."

* * *

Ruby entered the kitchen, stopping immediately at the door. "…wow…"

There was actual food being cooked, some platters of already made food left on the counter to cool.

Weiss sped around the kitchen, listening to the masked man that was telling her what to do.

"What was this, Blake? What even was this, Blake?" The man snapped as he supervised Weiss. "Your cooking area is too stiff! Of course no one can learn to cook in this! Cooking should be fun and smooth!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "Thank you for your opinion, Adam."

Adam started lecturing Blake more than he was lecturing Weiss.

"Um… Am I interrupting?" Ruby asked.

Adam turned to her. "I am simply getting your hellhole of a kitchen straightened out! It makes cooking a breeze to teach. This kitchen is now streamlined, clean, and-" He struck a pose, now sparkling. "-perfect!"

Ruby looked around. "…looks the same to me…"

Adam crossed his arms. "Shameful! Shameful I say!" He huffed and started to leave the dorm. "I'm going to blow up a train full of people!"

Ruby watched him leave. "…should I be concerned?"

"Don't mind him. He just jumped off the edge of insanity and kept going," Blake answered.

Weiss turned off the stove and simply stood in that same spot, completely unmoving.

"You're doing great, Weiss! I can't wait to try all of this!" Ruby complimented.

Weiss opened her mouth to speak before falling over, completely unconscious.

"Oh dust! Weiss!"

* * *

Three weeks. In total, it took three weeks to teach Weiss to cook.

And now no one would let her stop.

Weiss moved around the kitchen, now familiar with how everything was placed.

Blake still helped around, making sure detonating appliances was not something that returned to haunt them.

Ruby entered the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Ruby Rose! You had better not be snacking! Not when you were the one to drag me from my studies to cook!" Weiss snapped.

"Nope! I just had this awesome idea!" Ruby grabbed a bunch of fruit and a knife.

Weiss rolled her eyes and returned to the job at hand.

Blake nudged Weiss. "Ruby doesn't need to ask you to cook. She just needs to hint at it and put on an adorable face."

"Wh-what are you implying!?"

"Nothing you don't already know."

"Done!" Ruby called.

Weiss turned to Ruby to see she had made a tiny boat out of fruit. "…what was that supposed to accomplish?"

"No clue! Just wanted to do it!" Ruby answered.

Yang entered the room and saw Ruby's creation. She immediately opened the fridge and grabbed a head of iceberg lettuce. "Iceberg, iceberg!" She slammed the lettuce in front of Ruby's boat.

"Don't sink the Fruitanic!"

Weiss clenched her fists, thankfully all the food was moved off the cooking appliances because said appliance ignited into flames. "…I am so done." She took off the apron she was wearing and threw it at Ruby before leaving the room.

They all watched Weiss leave.

Blake cleared her throat. "…Weiss can't handle too much stupid in one sitting."

* * *

 **For those wondering, the name of Blake's culinary school is a poor French translation for "generic French culinary school". Yeah, I went there. This whole chapter came up simply from an image my brother pulled up of a fruit boat and a head of iceberg lettuce. Brilliant, I must say. Apparently Adam can cook in this AU. *curls up in corner* What is this AU turning into?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Back once again! This week we have a special guest! The protagonist of Sword Art Online! I've been getting a lot of ideas recently, so hopefully it's a while before I hit writer's block.**

* * *

Ruby rubbed her eyes as she woke up.

It was a weekend, so everyone was still asleep.

Well, except for Weiss. She was always up early to go out and exercise.

Ruby jumped off her top bunk and made her way to the door. "I should have a package from him today…" She opened the front door, and their indeed was a long box waiting for her.

"Watcha got there?" Yang asked as she immediately popped up behind Ruby.

Ruby jumped away. "What the hell, Yang!? Are you trying to give me a heart attack!?"

Yang shrugged. "My older sister senses were tingling." She looked down at the box. "…that your Weiss dakimakura? Knew you'd order one eventually!"

"What!? No!" Ruby pushed Yang away. "There's this weird scientist in town who sends me weapons to test. Something about them being very dangerous and tending to bend reality. This is one of those." Ruby started trying to move the box.

It was too heavy.

Yang flexed her muscles. "This looks like a job for me!" She started trying to move the box as well.

Still too heavy.

"What is even in this thing!?" Yang grunted as she kept trying to lift the box.

Ruby walked away and grabbed a hook. "Not the first time this has happened." She stabbed the hook into the box and turned on the machine the hook was attached to.

The sound of a motor filled the room as the box was pulled in.

Ruby stopped the machine and tossed the hook away before opening the box.

Under the loads of packing material was…

A sword.

A lone, regular-sized sword.

"Huh. Cool sword actually." Yang commented. She grabbed the handle and tried to lift it. "Yowza! What's this thing made out of!?"

Ruby shrugged. "Looks familiar…"

The sword appeared to be made of blue crystal, but it was too heavy for that to be the case.

* * *

Meanwhile at Beacon's lost and found...

A young man in a black trench coat was talking to the staff, trying to find something.

The Beacon students in the room whispered about how weird the person was, carrying a regular, black sword on his back, instead of something that was also a gun.

The young man was handed a sheet of paper. "So these are the most recent mail arrivals?"

The staff member nodded. "I just need you to sign here before you go investigating everyone's mail, Kirigaya Kazuto."

"Please, call me Kirito."

"Ok, Mr. Kirito. I need to take record of your lost item in case it shows up. What was it again?"

Kirito pulled a picture from his pocket. "This sword. It's made from crystalized dragon shit, so it's hard to miss. Said sword goes by the name Dark Repulser. I just had it upgraded, so I'm probably the only one who can support its weight."

"Trust me when I say we have the strongest individuals on Remnant training here. No one will be having problems with your sword."

Kirito laughed. "Yeah, I doubt that."

* * *

Ruby and Yang both held onto the handle and pulled with all their might, still not managing to move the sword.

Yang flopped onto the floor. "This is hopeless! What kind of freak needs a sword that heavy!?"

"Probably someone who goes solo against giant minotaurs. Maybe a guy from a good anime that gets knocked all the time though is really just so good that it has two rip-offs." Ruby sat down next to Yang. "I swear I have read or watched something that had this sword in it, but I don't remember it at all…"

Yang stood up and looked at the sword again. "I'm goin' supa saiyan on this." She ignited into flames as she called energy from her aura. She grabbed the sword with both hands and finally managed to lift it. "This is definitely a two-handed sword. No one is crazy enough of an individual to be able to carry around swords this heavy with one hand."

* * *

Kirito sighed and knocked on a door. "Hello?"

Cardin opened the door. "…hello?" Cardin had truly mellowed out since the Ursa Major incident. He now spent his days working out or playing Xbox games with Jaune instead of bullying people. He had no idea how much pain that was currently saving him.

Kirito smiled. "Hello. I am looking for a weapon of mine that has gotten misplaced. Since this dorm got a package today, I was wondering if you may have gotten a hold of it."

Cardin held open the door to let Kirito in. "I got some training equipment today. Why don't you make yourself comfortable while I go check the box again?"

Kirito took a seat on team CRDL's couch. "Thank you. You have no idea how rare it is to find time to sit down when you have a wife and daughter."

Cardin narrowed his eyes. "…you look seventeen."

"I am seventeen."

"…ok… Not going to judge." Cardin went to another room and began looking through his delivery.

Kirito closed his eyes, preparing to sleep. _Sleeping when you can is important to Aincrad style combat._

Then the rest of team CRDL entered the living room.

The three of them took one look at Kirito before they knew what they wanted to do.

Russel grinned. "Cardin brought home one of his little freak friends again. Maybe we should ruff up this kid a little."

Sky and Dove nodded, grinning just as well.

Kirito opened one eye. "Would you be quiet? I'm trying to nap." He saw the three figures looming in on him. "…let me just…" He stood up and set his sword to the side. "I need to train my martial arts skill. I'm only nine points away from max."

* * *

Ruby swung the Dark Repulser, having attached a small anti-grav device to make it light enough to carry. "Jeez. This thing is heavy even with anti-grav. The person who used this was probably a walking tank with no capability of speed."

"It can't be that heavy," Blake said as she finally woke up.

"Come over here and try it then!" Yang ran over to Blake and pulled her over.

Blake sighed and rolled her eyes. "Give me that sword." She reached her hand out for it.

Ruby held out the handle to Blake.

Blake grabbed the handle. "Let go, Ruby."

"You sure you got it?" Ruby asked.

"Ruby I'll be-!"

Ruby let go.

Blake fell over with the sword. "Son of a bitch!"

"You ok, Blake? Should Ruby turn off the anti-grav?" Yang teased.

Blake's right hand was completely pinned down.

Blake looked up at Yang. "Help me…"

Yang grabbed the sword and moved it. "Not so cocky now, huh?"

Blake groaned. "How humiliating…"

Ruby took the sword from Yang. "I need to run some tests to see what material this is. This sword must have incredible density to be this heavy. Anyone see Weiss around? She's the only one here besides me that I trust with my equipment."

"Ooh~ Naughty Ruby letting Weiss touch her equipment~" Yang teased.

"Y-Yang! Don't say things like that!"

Yang patted Ruby on the back. "Don't worry, Rubes! If you trust someone to touch your tatas and vajayjay, that's perfectly fine by me!"

Ruby decked Yang. "Shut it!"

Weiss entered the room. "Am I interrupting something?"

Yang laughed. "Ruby needs you to touch up her equipment!"

Weiss narrowed her eyes as the room fell into silence. She shrugged and moved over to where Ruby left her things, typing on the computer Ruby left on her desk to operate her more advanced machinery. "Looks fine to me."

"Not that-!" Yang was decked again before she could finish talking.

Ruby was at Weiss's side immediately. "Y-yeah. I need help finding what this sword is made of."

Weiss looked at the sword. "…that looks very much like the sword my friend's husband uses. Let me see it."

Ruby hefted up the sword. "It's really heavy…"

Weiss encircled it with glyphs to make it a lot lighter. "I got it. She grabbed the sword and put it on Ruby's scanner. "Couldn't you have done this by yourself?"

"I don't know as many elements as you do! Cut me some slack!"

"Aw~ The nerds are so cute together!" Yang squealed.

Weiss grabbed a book that was close to her and beaned Yang with it. "Sh-shut it, dolt!"

* * *

"Yeah. Sorry I couldn't find it," Cardin said as he let Kirito out of his dorm.

Kirito sighed. "Yeah… Sorry for beating up your team."

Cardin shrugged. "No problem. They tend to ask for a beating."

Kirito pulled out the list of dorms he needed to check. "Guess it's time to go see the next dorm on the list…"

"You should see team RWBY and team JNPR. They get into all the crazy shit. If someone has your sword, they do."

"Thank you. I'll check those first." Kirito began to walk down the hallway, looking for the dorms in question. He froze when something caught his eye.

Pyrrha was just outside her dorm, pulling in a rather big box.

Kirito cleared his throat. "Can I please check your box? It's very important that I do."

Pyrrha looked at her box than back to Kirito. "U-um… Not a good idea."

Kirito did a polite bow. "Please."

Pyrrha pulled the box into the JNPR dorm. "I should go…"

"Wait! I know I'm really shady looking, but I'm just looking for one thing!"

Pyrrha started to push the door close. "It's best if no one sees what's in here but me."

"You sound very suspicious."

"N-no I don't!"

Kirito kicked the door back open, sending Pyrrha to the floor. He pulled out his sword and set it flat across Pyrrha's chest. "Pardon me."

Pyrrha struggled to get the sword off of her, but it was too heavy even for her semblance. "W-wait! Don't!"

Kirito opened the box.

His eyes started to bleed a little

He closed the box and walked back to Pyrrha, grabbing his sword off her chest. "…I am so sorry. I am so very sorry… I beg you to forgive me and never let a word slip out about this."

"Yeah… I won't tell anyone if you don't," Pyrrha responded.

Kirito nodded and wiped the blood that had leaked out of his eyes. "…enjoy your…whatever the hell that is." He left the JNPR dorm as quickly as he could.

Pyrrha sighed and opened her box, pulling out her new Jaune dakimakura. She looked around the dorm to make sure no one was there before locking the door. _You're mine, Jaune~_

* * *

Weiss squinted at the computer screen she was reading from. She sighed and put on some glasses. "Anything on your end, Ruby?"

Ruby shrugged. "I can't read a damn thing on this screen. Crazy elemental science stuff." She turned to Weiss, her jaw dropping when she saw her glasses. "Nevermind… I found something very nice…" _My Weiss can't be this cute..._

Weiss stood up from her seat and looked at Ruby's computer screen. "…your computer's working faster than mine. Probably because your sister thought it would be a great idea to load a terabyte of porn onto mine and lock out any ability to delete it."

Yang entered the room. "Sup nerds? Find anything cool?"

"It's a type of highly dense crystal formed by a strange means we can't decipher," Ruby answered.

"So you've found nothin'."

"Exactly. We don't even know how an element like this can be hammered out into a sword. It's as if someone hit it repeatedly with a hammer and it just changed into a sword without any effort." Ruby slumped over in her chair and groaned.

Weiss typed away on Ruby's computer, seemingly getting somewhere. She froze and stopped typing. "…oh dust. I touched it." She ran out of the room and into the bathroom, washing her hands furiously. "I freaking touched that!"

"What? What is it?" Ruby asked.

"Its freaking dragon shit!" Weiss snapped.

Yang rolled over in laughter. "You guys have been playing with reptile doody for an hour and a half!"

"But it should have been cleaned! All weapons are regularly cleaned and maintained!" Ruby claimed.

"It still came out of a dragon's ass!" Weiss argued.

Yang stopped laughing. "Hey, Weiss. Weren't you biting you nails a little while ago?"

Weiss froze. She moved back into the bathroom and pulled out a large bottle out mouthwash.

Yang laughed even harder than before.

Their doorbell rang.

Ruby shushed Yang and opened the door. "Hello-" She stopped talking as soon as she saw who was at their door. _…I remember where the sword is from now…_

Kirito bowed politely. "I am Kirito. I am here looking for my sword. It is long, heavy, and made of crystalized dragon excrete."

"Y-you're…" Ruby stuttered. She ran away, grabbing a large stack of books before running back. "K-Kirito! Can you sign my light novels!?"

Kirito backed away nervously. "Light novels? I have-" He looked at the books in Ruby's hands. "…holy shit I have light novels!"

Weiss finally exited the bathroom. "What is going on here!?" She looked at Kirito, narrowing her eyes. "I know you…"

Kirito waved. "Do I know you?"

Weiss stopped right in front of Kirito and looked him deep in the eyes. "…you're Asuna's husband right? I saw you with her at the business party my father had a few months ago."

Kirito thought about this. "Oh yeah! You're the Schnee girl! The one who got really depressed and drunk, spending the night in the corner and groaning about not being able to talk to someone you had a crush on-"

Weiss shushed him.

"Naughty, naughty Weiss! Didn't know you'd have it in you to do some underage drinking!" Yang teased.

Kirito looked at Ruby before looking back at Weiss. "…I see the bond actually. The tsundere and oblivious one. I know that kind of relationship well!"

Weiss started sputtering. "I-I'm not a tsundere!"

Ruby turned to Weiss. "What does he mean?"

"Nothing!"

Kirito chuckled and looked around the dorm. "Ah! There it is!" He grabbed his missing sword from Ruby's things. "Finally found my Dark Repulser!"

"What the hell!? You can carry that thing with one hand!?" Yang asked.

"Well it is a one-handed sword after all," Kirito answered. He started to leave. "Hey, little red."

Ruby perked up at the sound of her name. "Yeah?"

"Weiss cook for you?"

"Well… She used to blow up the kitchen, but now her cooking is so yummy!"

"D-dolt! It's not that good!" Weiss snapped.

Kirito laughed. "You two will get along juuuuust fine~! Gotta go now. My daughter caught a bug, and I need to teach my nephew, Bell Cranel, if it is wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon. That and Asuna wants to go catch a movie." He left the dorm.

A few moments of silence passed.

"Well he was interesting," Yang muttered.

* * *

 **Kirito, one of the most overpowered characters to be in anime...a** **nd the protagonist of my favorite anime.**

 **Yeah, he had to come here sometime. Bonus points to the first person to figure out the Bell Cranel joke! Leave me a review! I want to get noticed!**

 **Next time hasn't been quite decided yet, but it may crossover with...Madoka Magica.**


	4. Chapter 4

**New chapter! I guess I have some apologizing to do... This is currently my longest yet weakest chapter. Still had fun writing it though! And I hope you enjoy reading it! My second apology was that I probably got you guys hyped for a Madoka Magica crossover due to my ending notes last chapter. Sadly, I took that chapter idea and put it in the back of my head for extra planning. Without further ado, White Rose!-I mean next chapter!**

* * *

It was early in the morning.

The weekend had returned once again.

Weiss put on her combat skirt and put on some short shorts under it, having the extra precaution since the hoverskate incident. She left the room she was changing in and quietly began to exit the dorm. She narrowed her eyes as soon as she saw the door was blocked by a wall of cardboard. "What the hell is this!?"

Ruby snapped awake while Yang and Blake somehow continued to sleep. "Wha-!? What is it, Weiss!? Is someone attacking!?"

Weiss held her hand to her forehead, suppressing a headache. "I believe this is yours?" She pointed to the giant box that blocked the doorway.

Ruby jumped down from her bed and walked over to the door. "…yep, that's mine."

"Well do something about it!"

Ruby grabbed Crescent Rose and cut the box open, multiple boxes of varying sizes spilled out. "…give me a minute." She began to speed around the dorm, setting the boxes everywhere.

Weiss sighed. "Are these really necessary?"

Ruby shrugged. "Probably more weapons for me to test."

"I'm going to go exercise. Leave me out of your experiments." Weiss left the dorm.

Ruby started going through the boxes, every single one marked with a title. "Thundergun? Wonderwaffe DG-2? What the hell are these?"

"Which one's your Weiss dakimakura?" Yang asked as she randomly popped up from behind Ruby.

Ruby jumped away defensively, opening one of the boxes and firing the weapon she pulled out of it at Yang.

Yang cringed at the shot. She opened one eye, checking herself for bullet wounds.

"Don't do that, Yang! What if this gun was dangerous!?" Ruby snapped.

Yang was currently too distracted by having her entire lower body frozen to respond. "…what is that?"

Ruby sighed and grabbed the box she pulled the gun out of. "…the Winter's Howl. Quite the appropriate name."

Yang broke out of the ice she was in. "Is it for making frozen goodies?"

Ruby kept reading the box. "…it's apparently for killing zombies."

"For…zombies?"

Ruby shrugged. "That's what the box says."

Yang grabbed the gun from Ruby. "Yes! We finally have a zombie plan!"

"No. We have multiple." Ruby pointed out the large number of boxes that surrounded them.

* * *

"Protected conditions?"

"Check!"

"Warning signs all around?"

"Check!"

"Big box of cookies?"

Yang held up a large box of cookies. "Checkaroo!"

Ruby nodded and grabbed a cookie.

They were outside getting ready to test the weapons they had.

"Ready, test subject!?" Ruby called out.

Jaune frowned as he saw the row of boxes next to Ruby. "Is this safe!?"

"Nope!" Ruby grabbed the closest weapon to her and fired it.

Jaune squeaked and ducked, a green projectile of pure plasma hitting the wall behind him. "Why use me then!?"

"You're expendable!" Yang answered.

Ruby grabbed the next gun. "You'll be fine!" She fired the gun.

Jaune dodged a burst of three repeated shots of green plasma. "Can't you use someone else!?"

Ruby took notes on the Ray Guns Mk. 1 and Mk. 2. "The worst these can cause is death, Jaune!"

Jaune ran away as fast as he could. "I'm not doing this!"

Ruby opened the box labelled "Scavenger", pulling a sniper rifle out of it. "Don't leave, Jaune! There's still a lot more to test!" She fired a shot.

Jaune freaked out when he felt something impact the back of his head. "Why Oum!? Why do you choose today to take me to the afterlife!?"

A moment of silence.

"You do know you're fine, right?" Ruby asked as she approached him.

Jaune felt the back of his head, pulling off a metal object. "…hehe… It's a toy. Your sniper's a toy gun."

Ruby fired a shot at Jaune's forehead.

Jaune stumbled over from the impact, but was completely unscathed. "Ow!"

"Guess it is a toy…" Ruby groaned. "It looked so cool too…"

Jaune got back up and pulled off the object stuck to his head. "Listen… Maybe you should try…Testing these things on someone else for a bit? Going-now-bye!" He started to run away again, not noticing the said "toy gun" had tagged him with delayed explosives.

The explosives detonated.

"Oh dust, Jaune!" Ruby ran over to the crater Jaune now sat in. "…you ok?"

"…I'm a little toasty, but I'm ok…" Jaune muttered.

Yang laughed as she ran over. "It's called the Scavenger because you need to scavenge for the remains of your victims!"

* * *

Ruby huffed as she checked her watch. "How long have we been here?"

"Ten minutes," Yang answered.

They were currently waiting for someone with much more practical means of weapons testing.

The only person with that description was the new mechatronics teacher they were supposed to be getting, and the man hadn't come out of the mechatronics classroom in three days.

 **Three days.**

Ruby knocked on the door. "Professor!? Can we ask for some help with something!?"

"I'm writing a syllabus! Leave me to my work!" Someone called back, the familiar voice being muffled enough that Ruby couldn't remember who it belonged to.

"This is hopeless. We should just be firing these things randomly and repeatedly!" Yang opened the box labelled "Wunderwaffe DG-2" and fired it down the hallway.

Team CRDL just happened to get caught in the surge of chaining electricity.

"Oh no! Cardin!" Ruby ran over to the now slightly crispy team CRDL.

Cardin looked up at Ruby. "I think I have internal bleeding." He coughed up some blood. "…I have internal bleeding…"

"Yang! We need to get Cardin to the medical center!" Ruby ordered.

"What about his team?" Yang asked.

"What about them?"

* * *

Ruby threw a toy monkey that happened to have a bomb strapped to it.

It detonated after a few seconds.

Ruby threw another one.

The same.

"I don't see what's so special about this," Ruby commented.

"Maybe we just need a closer perspective?" Yang suggested.

Sun just happened to be walking by.

Yang started to wave him over.

Ruby nudged Yang. "No, Yang. We are not turning Sun into a living monkey bomb."

"You do what you want. I'm still going to do this!" Yang pulled out some packs of C4.

"Where did you even get that!?"

"Took it from Weiss's locker."

"Weiss carries C4? Why does she carry C4? Why don't **I** carry C4?"

"Hey guys!" Sun said as he walked over to them. "Doing something cool?"

Yang held up a pack of C4. "You have no idea~"

"Run, Sun! Run!" Ruby pushed him away.

Sun took the hint and started to bolt. "Rather not be involved!"

"Party pooper!" Yang called after him. "Get back here and explode like a man!"

Ruby quickly changed the subject by opening another box, pulling out the biggest darn gun they had seen yet.

That definitely caught Yang's attention.

"Ooh! What's that gun?" Yang grabbed the box.

Ruby took the box back from Yang and started to read it. "…the Thundergun."

"Does it rain down with the fury of Thor?"

Ruby fired it at Yang.

Yang was launched away by a burst of compressed air, sending her to the other side of Beacon.

Ruby grinned cheekily. "It's an air gun."

* * *

Weiss knew not to get her hopes up. She knew she would probably have to check on Ruby some time.

Yang falling from the sky was enough to tell her so.

"Ruby Rose! Why did your sister almost land on me!?" Weiss screamed.

"Because advanced weaponry!" Yang responded.

"And because Yang tried to blow up Sun with your C4!" Ruby added.

"With my-!?" Weiss glared at Yang. "Don't touch my stuff!"

Yang laughed. "Relax! I didn't touch your Ruby dakimak-"

Weiss knocked Yang over with a jumping reverse side-kick. "…still got it. Even after using Myrtenaster for so long."

"Well you're just in time, Weiss! I don't even know what this thing could be." Ruby pushed over a box labelled "Gersch".

Weiss pulled the flat device out of it. "…how would I know what this is?"

"It's covered in German! You're the only one here that can read German!"

Weiss looked the device over. "Russian, Ruby. The text is Russian."

"So you can't read it-?"

"Of course I can read it!" Weiss started flipping the switches on the side of the machine. "It's just instructions on how to turn it on." She threw the device.

Jaune just happened to be walking by, and the Gersch device landed at his feet.

Weiss's eyes widened when she saw where it landed.

Ruby took that as a hint. "Run, Jaune! Make a break for it!"

The warning came too late.

The machine generated a black hole that absorbed Jaune immediately.

"Why me!?" Jaune screamed as he was teleported away.

A few moments of silence passed.

"Jaune!?" Ruby called out.

Weiss's scroll buzzed.

Weiss opened her scroll and read the text. "…he's ok."

"Where is he?" Ruby asked.

Weiss pointed upward.

Ruby looked in that direction. "…How the hell did he get up there!?"

Jaune was currently hanging from the highest tower in Beacon, one didn't need to be there to know he was scared out of his wits.

"Ruby, don't you think we should be focusing on getting him down?" Weiss asked.

Ruby sputtered around as she tried to think of something. "I-I don't even know what to do!"

"I'm going to go grab a professor." Yang left the scene as quickly as she could.

Ruby was speeding around the area, talking too fast to be heard.

Weiss groaned and opened the box marked "Paralyzer". She fired it at Ruby, the waves of energy making her move in slow motion. "Ruby! Focus!"

Ruby started trying to say something, but being in slow motion made in unlegible.

Yang ran back. "Got the new professor! He finally left the classroom."

Ruby finally recovered from the effects of the Paralyzer. "Who is he-?" Ruby looked at the new professor. "No way…"

Kirito looked up at where Jaune was hanging. "I've had this job for only a few days, and I already need to put up with this? Is this normal?"

"Very," Weiss answered.

Kirito grabbed the Paralyzer gun from Weiss. "Then I need to request a pay raise…" He fired the weapon at the ground, the constant energy propelling him up to where Jaune was hanging. "How are you not down by now? Everyone has a landing strategy here, right?"

"H-help!" was Jaune's only response.

Kirito sighed and slung Jaune over his shoulder.

The Paralyzer overheated.

Everyone watched as Kirito fell at incredible speeds.

"Is he going to be ok?" Yang asked.

"He'll be fine," Ruby and Weiss said at the same time.

"He's got eighteen-thousand five-hundred HP!" Ruby added.

Weiss and Yang looked at Ruby like she was a nutjob.

"It's true! And he can fly!"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Ruby, Kazuto cannot fly. It's not like wings will randomly grow-"

Kirito spread his Alfheim Online wings, slowing him down. He cratered onto the ground a few seconds later.

"Everyone is crazy. Everyone and everything is crazy." Weiss threw her hands up in defeat.

Kirito threw Jaune off his shoulder. "Quit whimpering. We're down." He retracted his wings.

Jaune checked himself for deadly wounds. "I'm alive? I'm alive!"

Kirito dropped the Paralyzer. "I haven't slept in three days. I haven't seen my wife in three days. I haven't seen my daughter in three days. My daughter needs to be babysitted by my oblivious nephew because Asuna is always working at RECT. So tell me…" He turned to Ruby. "Do you have anything you need to tell me about your crazed weapon testing so I can go home!?"

Ruby cleared her throat. "Um…they make big bang bang?"

Kirito glared at Ruby before looking at the boxes scattered around. "…these are Call of Duty wonder weapons."

Ruby perked up. "You know what they are?"

"Very dangerous," Kirito answered.

Yang grabbed a device from the box closest to her. "How is this thing dangerous?"

Kirito backed away. "Put that down! That's a Q.E.D.! You could kill everyone here!"

Yang rolled her eyes. "It's fine! See?" She threw the device at Weiss.

Weiss caught it before tossing it away. "Don't throw it at me!"

The device detonated into nothing, light coming out of it.

Kirito had apparently bolted.

"See? Harmless!" Yang claimed.

"No. Very harmful," Weiss growled.

"Agreed," A second Weiss added.

Ruby looked at the two. "Weiss?"

"Yes." They both answered at the same time.

Ruby continued to stare down the two, fantasies she had dreamed of before returning to her mind.

"Ruby, your nose is bleeding," Yang interrupted.

"Um… Well I- Um…" Ruby stuttered around as she wiped her nose. "I'm not thinking of anything untoward!"

Yang grabbed another Q.E.D. "You're saying words that are way too big to be in your vocab, Rubes. Gotta fix this…" She threw the Q.E.D. into the air.

It detonated into blinding light, returning the number of Weisses to one.

Weiss blinked a few times to adjust her vision. "For once, you did something right."

Yang grinned as she grabbed two more Q.E.D.s. "These things are awesome!" She threw them both at the same time.

"Yang no!" Ruby wailed.

One of the Q.E.D.s activated like a Gersch device, creating another dark portal. The other Q.E.D detonated into confetti.

Weiss grabbed the box of Q.E.D.s from Yang. "Stop throwing those!"

Ruby started gathering the weapons. "I'm sending these back."

"But we still have more to test!" Yang argued.

"You just want to throw more Q.E.D.s. How about we not endanger all of Beacon with the devices that bend all of reality?" Weiss grabbed one of the few boxes that hadn't been opened yet.

"Yeah… Not letting any more Q.E.D.s be thrown. What if one turns into a nuke?" Ruby agreed as she grabbed some boxes.

Yang grabbed another box. "Fine…" She started to carry the box back to the dorm, but she tripped on the Paralyzer that Kirito had left on the ground.

Ruby cringed when Yang dropped her box.

There was a flash of light.

Ruby opened her eyes and blinked repeatedly to recover from the flash. She quickly ran over to the weapon Yang dropped and read the box. "The… Fractalizer? It… Oh no…"

Yang recovered from the light. "Everyone ok?"

"Yang! Do I look the same?" Ruby asked.

"…yeah?" Yang answered.

Ruby breathed a sigh of relief. "This weapon was recently upgraded… If someone got hit by it, its effects could last for hours…"

Yang started to read the box. "What does it do?"

"It returns people to their infancy-" Ruby froze when the sound of a child crying reached her ears. "But no one was here to be hit by it… **Oh no! I forgot Weiss!** "

Ruby and Yang turned around to see a little white-haired child who just so happened to be crying her eyes out.

"W-Weiss!?" Ruby stuttered.

The child turned to Ruby, tears still falling from her eyes. She was indeed Weiss. Blue eyes, white hair, combat skirt and all.

"Tiny white dress and extremely emotional. That's Weiss," Yang confirmed.

Ruby kneeled next to the child. "H-hey! It's ok, Weiss! Do you remember me?"

Weiss shook her head.

"Um… I'm Ruby… I'm your friend."

"Ruru?" Weiss asked, completely butchering Ruby's name.

Ruby squealed. "Weiss is so cute!"

"Well this is awkward… From testing weapons to child care, team RWBY does it all!" Yang joked.

"Yang! This is serious! We've got Weiss stuck like this for the next few hours! I don't even know the first thing about child care!" Ruby panicked.

Yang rolled her eyes. "I got it. I took care of you just fine." She reached down at Weiss. "Come here, baby princess!"

Weiss scrambled behind Ruby. "Ruru! Monster want to eaties me!"

Ruby let out another squeal at how cute the display was. She picked up Weiss. "I won't let Yang eat you! She's nice! See?" She pointed at Yang.

Yang grinned innocently.

Weiss found it to be the scariest most suspicious thing she had seen. She hugged Ruby tight. "I still don't trust," she said firmly.

Yang was still piecing together what was happening. "You're the nerd, Ruby." She grabbed the Fractalyzer. "This reduces people to their infancy, so how did it affect Weiss's material items?"

Ruby was currently pulling a tiny Myrtenaster out of Weiss's hands. "These weapons bend reality. Logic is fucked at this point."

"Fu-?" Weiss started to repeat what Ruby had said.

"No, Weiss! That's a bad word!" Ruby scolded.

"But Ruru said it…"

"That doesn't make it right!"

Weiss nodded.

Yang rubbed her chin as she thought. "Do you think that if we fed Weiss some actual protein, her bewbs would be bigger when she reverts to her original self?"

"Yang! Don't talk inappropriately in front of Weiss!" Ruby snapped.

"Getting a little protective aren't you?" Yang asked.

"I'm not letting you poison Weiss's little fragile mind!"

* * *

 **We have quite the change of story here. Guess you could call this the aftermath. I just couldn't leave this untouched!**

* * *

I had been peaceful in the RWBY dorm all day, something Blake was currently taking advantage of with a _Ninjas of Love_ book.

Blake looked up from her book when Ruby and Yang entered, Weiss riding on Ruby's shoulders. "…please tell me that's temporary."

"It is," Ruby answered.

Zwei ran around Ruby's legs, trying to get her attention.

"Not now, Zwei-"

"Puppy!" Weiss interrupted.

Ruby took that as a hint to set Weiss down next to Zwei. "Play nice, Zwei."

Zwei whimpered.

"Of course I don't need to tell Weiss to do the same. You've tanked bullets! …And tanks!"

Weiss hugged Zwei tightly. "Daddy wanted to get me a puppy, but uncie no want me to have one…"

"Huh. Thought Weiss had daddy issues, not uncle issues…" Yang muttered she walked out of the dorm. "I'm going to grab all the weapon boxes!"

Zwei cuddled into Weiss's chest.

Weiss giggled at the ticklish feeling.

Ruby squealed. "It's just so cute! I need to get pictures!" She opened her scroll and started taking pictures.

Blake kneeled down next to Weiss. "…how could you betray me, Weiss? You know I can't keep these two hyperactive morons under control without your help…"

Weiss tilted her head in confusion. "Kitty!" She reached up and started petting Blake's ears.

Blake melted to her touch. "N-no! Weiss!" She couldn't pull away, the feeling too heavenly.

Ruby giggled and took a picture of the scene. "You two get along so well!"

"I'm going to kill you and burn your entrails if you don't get her off me, Ruby!" Blake growled.

"Nuh uh! No one hurt, Ruru!" Weiss argued as she pulled away.

Ruby laughed and gave Weiss a thumbs up. "You bet no one can hurt me!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "Why don't you put your ego into cooking dinner? It's Weiss's night to cook and she's sort of out of her moment."

"I make things splodey…" Weiss added.

Yang entered the room, having collected all of the boxes onto a luggage trolley. "Nope! I'm cooking tonight!"

Ruby and Blake turned to each other, terrified expressions on their faces.

"I need to prepare a proper diet for breast growth! That way Weiss's chest is less disappointing when she reverts back to her normal, cold self!" Yang pushed Blake to another room. "Why don't you read to Weiss?"

"I don't have any books that are for her age-" Blake argued.

 _"Read her all the yuri you can. She needs to be ready to go at it with Ruby when she returns to being her normal self,"_ Yang whispered in Blake's ear.

Blake grinned. "You are the worst kind of shipper."

"You know I am~" Yang returned to Ruby and Weiss. "Why don't you get started with labeling all these weapons as return to sender? Blake can take care of Weiss."

Ruby looked warily at Weiss. "You ok with Blake?"

Weiss nodded and got on Zwei's back, Zwei being a little smaller but still strong enough to carry her. "Let's go Zwey!"

Zwei yipped before running after Blake, Weiss giggling as she rode along.

* * *

Ruby groaned as she closed a box and labelled it. _Only a ton more to go…_

Yang grabbed Ruby by the hood. "Din-din~!"

Ruby scrambled in surprise as she was dragged. "Would you stop popping up on me!?"

"I would have given you more time, but little Weissy wouldn't eat without her 'Ruru'!"

"You can at least warn me first!"

Yang sat Ruby down. "Eat up!"

Weiss and Blake were already at the table. Blake trying to feed Weiss, much to the little girl's refusal.

Ruby looked at the food in front of her. _Doesn't look like a gut bomb…_ She held her hand over the food, covering it with the shadow of her hand. _Doesn't radiate…_

Yang glared at Ruby. "It's food, Ruby. It ain't gonna kill ya. Specially engineered for…certain reasons."

"Tell that to Weiss," Ruby argued.

Weiss was still refusing to let Blake put any food in her mouth, huffing in annoyance. "Ruru tells me if safe first!"

"Apparently you need to tell that to Weiss," Yang countered.

Ruby looked at Yang's concoction and scooped up a spoonful. "If I die, Yang, I am taking your hair with me."

Yang chuckled nervously. "You wouldn't go that far-"

"I would," Ruby responded immediately.

"Ruru would!" Weiss said at the same time.

"She definitely would," Blake added.

"Traitors…" Yang scowled.

A short convincing later and everyone was eating like they normally should. Well, as normal as things can be when Blake has to feed Weiss.

Weiss seemed to be sneaking glances at Ruby the whole time, and Ruby was starting to find it slightly creepy.

Ruby finished her "soup" and cleared her throat. "Something on your mind, Weissy?"

Weiss nodded. "…Ruru…will you marry me when I am bigger?"

Ruby choked on air as Yang became completely lost in laughter.

"You gotta answer her, Ruby!" Yang laughed.

Ruby sputtered like a fish out of water. "A-aren't you a little young to be thinking about this?"

Weiss pouted. "Blay tell me to marry someone I love…"

Blake nodded, having the same grin on her face as Yang did. "You gotta go after your woman!"

"U-um… Well I-! Uh…" Ruby continued to sputter.

Weiss started to have tears form in her eyes. "Ruru?"

"I…yes! Of course I will!" Ruby answered quickly.

Yang and Blake exchanged a high-five.

"Like a boss!" Yang cheered.

* * *

Ruby sat back down at her desk and continued packing boxes.

It had taken a while for her to get back since she had to find Weiss some pajamas her size.

That and the fact that Blake had the hardest hell of a time giving Weiss a bath.

Who knew Weiss was afraid of water as a kid?

Certainly not Ruby and definitely not Blake.

Ruby groaned as she worked to finish the job at hand. "…screw this." She used her aura to its max, finishing what remained of her job in seconds. She normally wouldn't go to this extreme, but tiring herself out wouldn't be too much of a problem this late.

Weiss peeked into the room. She looked vastly different with her hair down and her clothes being replaced with some kids clothes Blake kept with her for some reason. "Ruru?"

Ruby turned to Weiss immediately. "What's wrong, little princess?" She sped over and picked Weiss up. "Trouble sleeping?"

"Scary dreams…" Weiss answered.

Ruby moved back to her seat and sat Weiss on her lap. "What about?"

"Blay's stories… She read about peoples who get tied up and hit with wippy things…"

Ruby froze as her jaw dropped. _Blake you little-! You seriously read Weiss your bondage smut!?_ Ruby cleared her throat nervously. "Would you want me to sleep with you? Will that make you feel safer?"

Weiss nodded.

Ruby sighed and carried Weiss to her bed. _Weiss is going to return back to normal tomorrow, and I swear she is going to murder me…_ Ruby laid Weiss down and laid next to her. "Go to sleep ok?"

Weiss frowned. "Ruru?"

"Yeah?"

"…Blay told me that married people have babies… What will we name ours?"

Ruby went into another round of sputtering. "Um… Goku and Vegeta?"

"No! Those sound icky!"

"Then we'll just think about it when the time comes. Go to sleep, Weiss."

Weiss huffed but went to sleep anyway.

Ruby closed her eyes and fell to sleep as well.

* * *

Weiss blinked repeatedly as she awoke, the sun being right in her eyes. She found it rather peculiar that she remembered nothing from the previous day. She felt something warm holding her in place.

Ruby was pressed against her, hugging her like a plush toy.

 _R-Ruby!?_ Weiss had a lot going on in her mind, but nothing could explain her current situation. She started gently pulling out of Ruby's grasp.

That's when she started to notice what else was wrong.

She was dressed in clothes that were so small on her that she may as well have been nude. Weiss felt her face heat up. "R-Ruby!?" Weiss fell out of her bed, taking the bedsheets with her and wrapping herself in them.

Ruby snapped awake immediately. "Wh-what!?" She quickly turned to Weiss. "Oh…"

"Ruby Rose! What lewd acts did you perform on me last night!?" Weiss screamed.

"N-nothing! Just let me explain-!"

"You'd better explain well!"

Blake and Yang were definitely awake by now, but they took the safe route of pretending to still be asleep.

"W-well… I… Uh…" Ruby muttered. "Can we talk about this when you have some clothes on?"

Weiss noticed the sheets she had been covering herself with had started to slip. She quickly pulled the sheets back up. "F-fine…" She took her bedsheets with her into her walk-in closet and grabbed her normal wear. As soon as she started to get dressed, she immediately started having problems, grunting in annoyance when things started to not go her way.

Ruby knocked on the door. "You ok, Weiss?"

"…none of my tops or bras fit…" Weiss answered.

Yang jumped out of her bed when Weiss's words reached her ears. "It worked!"

Luckily, Weiss didn't seem to hear Yang. "…I think my chest is your size now, Ruby…"

Ruby started sputtering around, something that was really, really common by now. "Sh-should I grab you some of my clothes?"

"…no. I think my old work uniform fits." Weiss exited her closet, now wearing a State Alchemist uniform (from Fullmetal Alchemist), the top looked remarkably tight even going so far as to expose quite a bit of her midsection.

Ruby felt her face heat up as she started sputtering louder, her sight being focused purely on Weiss's now much bigger chest and exposed midsection.

"Weissy! I didn't know you were into cosplay!" Yang teased.

Weiss tilted her head in confusion. "…cosplay? Does my State Alchemist uniform amuse you?"

"Very funny, _major_ ," Yang laughed.

Weiss rolled her eyes as she checked her silver State Alchemist pocketwatch for the time. "You're lucky I don't attack you for insulting my rank."

* * *

 **In one chapter we have found out that Yang should never be exposed to the Call of Duty Wonder Weapons. Also that Weiss was a really f*cked up kid. ...And that Weiss is currently a State Alchemist/Major for Remnant's military... Yeah, we're breaking all walls here! What do I have planned for next chapter?**

 **...**

 **I have too many plans! Maybe the Millenium Puzzle... Or Tucker's energy sword... So many possibilities with this story!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome back! This chapter we have guests! Yami, Bakura, and Seto from Yugioh Abridged! ...also some Eren Yeager. Excuse me for my slight bashing of Attack on Titan this chapter, but if an anime can't get me to be entertained in ten episodes, there is a big problem.**

* * *

Ruby groaned as she held a pillow over her head. _No… Not this early… I have classes today…_

Someone was knocking at their door.

It was currently 4:00 AM.

The knocking got louder.

Ruby finally gave in and jumped off her bunk, heading for the door. "What do you want?" she asked as she opened the door.

A lone boy stood outside her door. He had short, dark brown hair and teal eyes. He wore some sort of uniform. "Excuse me, I was hoping to ask for some help."

Ruby narrowed her eyes. "…at four in the morning? Tell me, who are you and why are you at Beacon?"

"Pardon me. My name is Eren Yeager. I am from the Survey Corps."

Ruby continued to glare at him. "…what help do you need?"

"I need help killing these monsters known as 'titans'. I thought I would stop by an academy that trains warriors for some assistance," Eren answered.

"Tell me about these monsters."

"Big, ugly, and they eat people."

"Are they armored?"

"Most of them aren't."

"Do you know their weak points?"

"Definitely."

Ruby stayed silent for a few moments before breaking out into laughter. "Giants with weak points that are already well known? How are they not extinct yet? Listen, sir. Beacon trains hunters, not prissy people that can't deal with a few bags of flesh. Fight some Grimm, then you'll see what a true fight is!"

"It's not that easy!" Eren argued.

"I'm pretty sure it is!" Ruby turned around. "Hey Yang!"

Yang groaned as she woke up. "Wha-?"

"Didn't you battle Grimlock last week?"

"Yeah. He was a toughy, even for a nearly illiterate robot dinosaur. That battle was barely a draw."

"If Grimlock was bigger and had a weak point that was already well known, how long would it take you to kill hundreds of him?"

"That derpy race would be extinct by the end of the day," Yang responded before rolling over and going back to sleep.

"Th-that's just one opinion!" Eren continued to argue.

Weiss growled as she pulled herself from her bed, dressed in Ruby's pajamas since her nightgown didn't fit her after the Wonder Weapon incident. She looked remarkably pissed to be awake at the moment. "Ruru, who is at our door?" She had recently developed the strange habit of calling Ruby "Ruru" every once in a while. She didn't quite care why she said it or where the dumb nickname came from.

"Just some guy who can't take care of the easiest of problems!" Ruby answered.

"I've been handling myself just fine!" Eren snapped.

"Then why come crying to me?"

"I'm not-!"

Weiss froze at the door. "…Eren Yaeger. Kazuto told me so much about you."

Eren grinned. "He did?"

"He told me that your entire military is useless at their own jobs, and that your anime is so overrated that it actually made him feel better about his anime's bad pacing and wasted potential because your anime beat those bad factors in spades."

"…ouch… But you can't hold that at me! For all the author knows, those problems could change on the very next episode he watches!"

"While that may be true, Kirito also said you leeched off of him for a while, using his wife's resources for your military without any permission."

"I…should probably be going…" Eren turned around and started to leave.

"Kazuto will be here around ten! You can talk to him yourself!" Weiss called after Eren.

"Yeah! He can make your titans extinct by the end of the day!" Ruby added cheerfully.

"Thanks! …I guess…" Eren called back.

"-and it will only take him that long if he stops for breaks and sees a few movies!"

Eren was finally gone.

Weiss groaned and opened her scroll.

"What are you doing?" Ruby asked.

"My sleep schedule was messed up. I'm cancelling our early morning class to compensate."

"You can do that?"

Beacon shook from an explosion."

Weiss grinned evilly. "Indeed I can."

Ruby chuckled nervously before noticing something else was at their door.

A small package.

Ruby quickly grabbed the box. "Hey! I got something new to test!"

"Sleep first, Ruby." Weiss slumped back into her bed.

"Ok!"

* * *

"-and that's how I got this package this morning!" Ruby finished.

Teams RWBY and JNPR were all sitting at the same table during lunch, talking about what they had done that day.

Jaune chuckled. "Yeah… That guy stopped by our place as well. I feel sorry for him… Even I could do his job better than he can…"

Ruby appeared to be trying to assemble some golden shards. "This package is really something… Puzzle pieces that I can't even tell how they fit together…"

Jaune pulled a golden pendant out of his shirt. "Got this in a package the same time you got your puzzle. I'm lucky I don't need to piece it together."

Ruby threw her hands up in defeat. "This is impossible! Do any of these pieces even go together!?"

Blake took the pieces. "Puzzles take time, patience, and a lot of thought." She started trying to put the pieces together.

Everyone watched her struggle for five minutes, Blake not accomplishing any more than Ruby.

"…this could take me a while…"

Jaune stood up. "I'd better go." He walked away uncharacteristically.

Pyrrha stood up as well. "Jaune has been acting weird a lot today. I should follow him."

"You're just turned on by the fact that he has a suddenly has a strange obsession with wearing open shirts," Ren muttered.

"N-not true!"

"It's definitely true!" Nora backed Ren up.

Pyrrha sighed in defeat. "Yeah… It's true."

Weiss and Yang were currently very quiet, mainly because they were in quite the card game.

Weiss put a card down. "I summon my Blue-eyes White Dragon in attack mode." She was getting quite a few stares from other students due to the State Alchemist uniform she had been wearing since the Wonder Weapon incident.

Yang grinned. "You activated my trap card!"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "You activated my trap card that works against trap cards."

"You activated my trap card that works against trap cards that work against trap cards!"

"You activated my trap card that works against trap cards that work against trap cards that work against trap cards."

"You activated my trap card that works against trap cards that work against trap cards that work against trap cards that work against trap cards!"

Weiss bowed her head in defeat. "Good game."

Yang pumped her fist into the air. "Yes! Schnee still sucks at card games!"

"You have to give her credit, Yang! She's gone from not knowing crap about the game to rivaling you within a few weeks!" Ruby claimed as she watched Blake struggle with her puzzle.

"Rivaling me? Yeah right!" Yang argued.

"She's playing three chess games at the same time while dueling you," Blake added.

Weiss spun around in her chair to face Ren. She looked at the chess board between them and moved a piece. "Checkmate."

Yang frowned. "That doesn't prove anything-!"

"Checkmate," Weiss said as she moved a piece on the chess game she was playing with Neptune.

"She's really not that good-!"

"Checkmate," Weiss finished as she moved a piece on the chess game she was playing with Zwei, who could strangely enough be a very good chess player.

Zwei whined in defeat, putting his tail between his legs as he hopped off the chair he was sitting on and walked out of the cafeteria.

Blake continued to struggle with Ruby's puzzle, growling angrily as she made no progress.

Ruby took the puzzle back and started trying to put it back together herself. "The notes that came with this puzzle say that the person who solves it gets a wish granted and gains dark powers! It sounds so cool!"

Yang patted Ruby on the back. "Whatcha plan to wish for?"

Ruby thought for a moment. "Weiss's panties-"

Weiss narrowed her eyes at Ruby. "My what?"

"I-I mean… Your undying friendship!" Ruby quickly sputtered.

Weiss looked down at her lap, now blushing rather noticeably. "Y-you already have that, dolt…"

A few awkward moments passed as Ruby worked on her puzzle.

Weiss cleared her throat. "…you need help with your puzzle?"

Ruby smiled at Weiss. "Sure! I'm definitely getting nowhere right now!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "If I can't do it, Weiss isn't getting anywhere."

Weiss sat next to Ruby and grabbed two pieces, immediately putting them together.

Blake's jaw dropped.

Weiss continued putting the pieces together like it was the easiest puzzle in the world.

In a matter of moments, there was only one more piece to put in place.

Weiss pushed the puzzle and its remaining piece back to Ruby. "There you go."

Ruby stared at the puzzle, completely shocked. "…you should finish it, Weiss. You did all of this."

"…are you sure?"

Ruby nodded eagerly and pushed the puzzle back to Weiss. "Of course!"

Weiss started to slowly slide the last piece in. "I get a wish from this?"

Ruby gave Weiss a thumbs up. "Whatever you want, big or small."

Weiss finished putting the piece in.

The puzzle glowed for a moment, extending Weiss's shadow in a way that looked demonic.

"…nice effects," Yang commented. "What did you wish for?"

Weiss frowned as she reached into her pocket for her silver pocketwatch. "I'm not sure if it came true-" She froze when she felt a distinct cloth. "…nevermind…"

Ruby had her hands crossed over her skirt, holding onto the edge of the skirt nervously. "…I feel breezy…"

A speedy purple-haired student ran by, creating a gust of wind.

Weiss nosebled as soon as she saw Ruby's skirt become upturned, nothing being under the skirt and Weiss realizing that all cloth that was under said skirt was now in her pocket.

"Kya!" Ruby squeaked and held her skirt down again. "I-I don't even know what is happening at this point…"

Weiss appeared to be frozen in place, the trail of blood under her nose getting bigger. _I wished for her panties, but I never thought I would see this much…_

* * *

Pyrrha nervously watched Jaune as he talked to himself on the roof of Beacon.

"I'm not going to do that-!" Jaune snapped.

"Yes you are!" He snapped back at himself.

"How would it even be possible!?" Jaune asked.

"We will conquer Beacon my way of course!" He answered himself.

"There is no way you can pull that off! Beacon has the greatest huntsman and huntresses, so you'd never get anywhere!"

"There is one method that will allow me total dominance!"

"There is nothing like that! Just give up, Bakura!"

"I will conquer Beacon with a children's card game!"

"N-no! You can't do that! You have no idea what kind of damage you could cause!"

"I have no choice! Beacon must fall to bring in a new age of _Zorc and Pals_!" Bakura took full control over Jaune's body and began to laugh evilly.

Pyrrha ran away as fast as she could. "A children's card game? That's so stupid it's diabolical…"

* * *

Team RWBY had long since returned to their dorm.

Weiss had been rather out of her moment for a while, talking to a voice in her head.

Ruby had noticed this quite well, and she just happened to be taking quite a few notes. "So the puzzle has its own mind…"

"Ruby! You're having me wear a cursed Egyptian artifact!? Seriously!? This is the dumbest thing you have ever had me do!" Weiss huffed as she looked at the puzzle that hanged around her neck from a chain.

"I can't help it! My curiosity is at its peak right now!"

 _Hey! You got the cute girl's panties and a perfect view of what is normally under them! I think putting up with me is a decent trade!_ The mind in the puzzle argued in Weiss's mind.

"Shut up, Yami…" Weiss groaned, though still secretly feeling inside her pocket for the pink cloth that had the cutest blue ribbon on it.

 _It's Atem actually._ The puzzle claimed.

"Your name sounds too much like Adam. Blake would rather not have him get brought up again."

Yang sighed as she shuffled cards. "How about a children's card game to settle everyone's minds? I mean, Weiss has two of them now and we can only hear one. We really need some stability here."

"My mind is very stable, thank you!" Weiss growled.

"Then show us what you've been hiding in your pocket."

"It's none of your business!"

 _I would like to play a children's card game. Reduce the tension brought on by being separated from my gay buddy-I mean Yugi._ The puzzle commented.

"Wait. Seriously?" Weiss asked.

 _Of course! I have many, many, **many** years of game experience behind me! I am the king of card games! Move over!_ The puzzle started to glow.

"Wait! No!" Weiss squeaked before her consciousness was pulled into the puzzle. She appeared to grow to Yang's size and her features became much more defined as the puzzle's consciousness replaced Weiss's, her eyes turning red. She pulled off the jacket that came with her current State Achemist uniform and draped it over her shoulders like a cape.

Yang's jaw dropped. "…ok?"

Weiss grinned, now having the mind of the puzzle. "It's game time."

Ruby pouted. _She's not my Weiss…_

Yang sat at a table. "I presume I'm not truly playing against Weiss?"

Weiss nodded and pulled up a seat. "I guess you could call me 'Yami Weiss', or just Yami."

"Damn… The puzzle's badass…" Yang set her deck on the table.

Yami pushed her deck over to Yang. "It is a matter of custom that we shuffle each other's decks."

"Of course!" Yang grabbed Weiss's deck and pushed her deck over to Yami.

They shuffled each other's decks before returning them to each other.

Yang grinned. "It's time to-!"

Yami slapped Yang. "Don't steal my lines."

Yang rubbed her cheek in pain. "Fiiiiine…"

"It's time to dual!"

* * *

Yang grinned. "You activated my trap card!"

Yami rolled her eyes. "You activated my trap card that works against trap cards."

"You activated my trap card that works against trap cards that work against trap cards!"

"You activated my trap card that works against trap cards that work against trap cards that work against trap cards."

"You activated my trap card that works against trap cards that work against trap cards that work against trap cards that work against trap cards!"

Yami shook her head in annoyance and flipped up another trap card. "You activated the Trial of Rara. All trap cards activated in this turn lose their effect. I order my Dark Magician to destroy your remaining life points."

Yang froze. "No… How? How could I lose to Weiss?"

The Millenium Puzzle glowed, changing Weiss back to her regular self and giving her back control of her own mind.

"The puzzle possessed me! Fucking, fucking fucker fucks on a fucking fucker fuck plain! What the fuck!?" Weiss screamed.

Ruby hugged Weiss. "You came back!"

"O-of course I did! Let go, dolt!"

Pyrrha ran into the dorm and closed the door behind her. "Guys! Help!"

Blake looked up from the book she was reading. "We should really remember to lock that. Never know when that Eren guy will try to bother us again."

"What's wrong!? Grimm!? Bigger Grimm!? Biggest Grimm!? Grimm that eat **cookies**!?" Ruby asked as she let go of Weiss.

"Jaune is being controlled by an ancient Egyptian artifact and he plans to conquer Beacon with the power of children's card games!" Pyrrha answered. "He even developed an evil gay accent!"

Yang put her cards into her pocket. "…that's…oddly specific."

"Also sounds familiar." Weiss moved over to a small box she left on her desk and pulled some cards out of it.

Yang looked at Weiss's cards. "Y-you had three more Blue-eyes White Dragons, a Blue-eyes Shining Dragon, and all the pieces of Exodia and you never used them against me?"

"Wanted a challenge." Weiss shuffled the extra cards into her deck. "I can't believe I'm going to fight a possessed Jaune with a children's card game…"

 _I am going to enjoy this so much~_ The puzzle commented.

* * *

Bakura Jaune had already managed to make his way to Ozpin's office. "How about a card game?" He now had the strangest British accent.

Ozpin looked up from his desk. "…Mr. Arc, you do realized what you have done, right? You've attacked half our teaching staff, eliminated half our security, and broke into my office, all to ask me to play a children's card game."

"Did you forget the bombs? I loved the bombs!" Bakura commented.

Meanwhile outside of Beacon during "Bakura's bombs"…

Kirito slashed through a titan and let it fall over dead. "I believe that's the last one, Yeager. I need to go back to my job as a humble mechatronics teacher now."

Eren put a hand on Kirito's shoulder. "Thanks, but can I ask you for one more favor-?"

"What? Since I got rid of all reason for your military to exist, you want me to get you a new job?" Kirito asked.

"…yes?"

"Apply somewhere like what I had to do, you worthless deadbeat." Kirito but his swords back on his back.

"But I don't have a resume like yours! I didn't end a deathgame or find out I was a super saiyan!" Eren argued.

Kirito grabbed Eren by his collar. "Don't talk about the saiyan thing! I've already had to fight Beerus! I don't need more gods of destruction knocking at my door! I'm not going to get killed and leave my wife and daughter behind!"

Eren cleared his throat nervously.

"Become an actor or something. Redo your anime. I heard TeamFourStar was hiring. They have the ability to make your anime somewhat entertaining." Kirito let go of Eren and turned back towards Beacon. "I need to go. Who knows what has been happening while I was gone? Team RWBY tends to get into trouble…"

Explosions started going off around Beacon.

Kirito threw his hands up angrily. "And there it is!"

Back to where we were…

Ozpin groaned as he suppressed a headache. "Yes, yes, Mr. Arc. I definitely remember the bombs."

"Well there are many more! Would be a shame to let Beacon blow up now wouldn't it?" Bakura pulled out a deck of cards.

Ozpin showed Jaune his empty hands. "I don't carry around a deck of children's playing cards.

Weiss ran into the room. "Challenge me then!"

Bakura froze and turned to Weiss. He looked at the puzzle that was hanging around her neck. "Ah… So that's where you went, pharaoh… How about a shadow game?"

 _Super sexy transformation go!_ The puzzle started to glow.

Weiss cursed as the puzzle took over her mind again, changing her back into Yami Weiss. "Hello, Bakura. Giving Jaune your British side?"

"I'm not British, I'm gay. There's a difference," Bakura countered.

"You have no power here, Bakura! Give the boy back his freedom!" Yami pulled out her cards.

Ruby ran into the room. "Weiss! Be careful!"

Jaune looked down at the pendant that was hanging from his neck as said pendant pointed at Ruby and Weiss. "…you two are triggering my gaydar something fierce…" He pointed accusingly at Weiss and Ruby. "You two are totally gay for each other!"

Ruby blushed and looked at her feet in embarrassment.

 _We are not!_ Weiss snapped from the puzzle she was currently trapped in, only Yami being able to hear her.

"They are so gay that I ship them like FedEx, but we have bigger things to be talking about right now!" Yami Weiss grinned. "I accept your shadow game! I will defeat you and return to my sexual lifemate-I mean Yugi!"

Bakura froze. "…wait, aren't you only supposed to be bondable to Yugi?"

"…I wanted to be a girl so bad that I broke that rule to an absolute," Yami answered.

Bakura held out a card. "Enough talk! I summon whatever the hell card this is!"

Yami narrowed her eyes. "You didn't even set up properly."

"I don't care! This is a shadow game now!"

The room changed into a dark void, and whatever card Bakura summoned turned into a monster.

Yami sighed and drew a proper hand. "…I summon my Blue-eyes Shining Dragon, use whatever cards form the Blue-eyes Ultimate Dragon, and I summon Exodia."

Bakura's jaw dropped. "Y-you can't summon all those cards in one turn!"

"I just did. We all know the rules to this game are all bullshit anyway."

A familiar brown-haired man ran into the room, his white trench coat waving in a way to accentuate his awesomeness. "Ah! Exodia! No one has ever summoned him before!" He had no idea he had just pushed Ruby into a metal wall, thus knocking her out.

Yami and Bakura just stared blankly at him.

"…Seto? You weren't supposed to even make a cameo this chapter…" Yami commented.

Seto flipped his middle finger at Yami. "Screw the rules, I have money!"

"Seto? Are we done here?" Someone called from outside the room.

"Shut up, Mokuba! Prepare my dragon jet!" Seto left the room.

Bakura dropped down to his knees. "…I'm done. I can't deal with all this stupid…"

Yami nodded. "I'll let go of this girl if you let go of that boy."

"Deal."

* * *

Ruby groaned as she woke up from being knocked unconscious. She looked around the hospital room she was in.

"You somehow got a concussion. I don't even want to know how it happened," Weiss claimed as she took off her reading glasses and closed the book she was reading.

"Something about screwing rules and…something about money…" Ruby shook her head as she tried to clear it.

Weiss sighed. "We're done with whatever those pendants caused. Kazuto confiscated one of them, and left one for you to experiment with on the terms that no one wears it."

"…who has the remaining pendant now?"

"…oh shit."

Yang entered the room with the Millenium Ring. "This gaydar is awesome! It's almost like digging into someone's deepest secret!"

The ring seemed to be going wild, pointing at Ruby, Weiss, and even Yang herself.

Ruby vanished and reappeared in front of Yang, only a trail of rose petals showing that she even moved. "Gimmie that!" She took the Millenium Ring from Yang before falling over to her knees and vomiting.

Weiss was immediately at Ruby's side. "Ruby! Don't do that when you have a concussion! You'll give me a heart attack!"

Yang grinned. _Deeze lesbians, whatever am I to do with them?_

* * *

Nappa sighed as he looked through his appointments. Being a Hollywood producer really took a lot of work. He pushed a button on his intercom. "Send in 'Eren Yeager'."

Eren peaked into the room. "Um… I'm here about a movie idea for you."

Nappa grinned. "I always have time for young stars! Tell me what you have to offer!"

"Um… I kill giant monsters by turning into one."

Nappa froze. "…you are going to get far in this business!"

"Yes!" Eren fisted the air.

"We shall call it, 'Hulk Rip-off the Reckoning of the Electric Boop-alo'!"

"…I was thinking of calling it 'Attack on Titan'…"

"Abridged. We're not leaving out the word abridged."

"Deal."

* * *

 **Chapter finished! This chapter had it's own set of problems. Like the fact that I don't know the rules of Yugioh cards... I only ever watched Yugioh Abridged and Season 0. Genderbending Yami by means of Weiss was also kind of awkward... All well! What could we possibly have for next chapter? Do I see-? A high-speed car of pure black? The ride of the Dark Knight himself?**

 **Leave me a review or producer Nappa may cut my budget...**


	6. Chapter 6

**...I'm alive? I'M ALIVE! Yeah, this chapter took so long because of classes. Then my classes ended, but my one week off was chaos. Then I had a change in writing style right in the middle of the chapter, so I had to try to use my old writing style for consistency. This chapter was originally supposed to have a much simpler concept, but...I guess I can't write for such a complicated black ride. So...I improvised.**

* * *

Weiss sat out on a bench, just outside of a clothing store. She was rather pleased that she was back in a combat skirt and not her State Alchemist uniform, but she was starting to get impatient at this point.

Ruby had agreed to hang out in what was **totally not a date** , but the red-haired girl was nowhere to be seen.

 _She probably got something new to test._ Weiss sighed and leaned further back in her seat.

That's when a car, no more of a black tank, stopped in front of her.

Weiss just gaped at the car. _...Is that the Batmobile?_

The window rolled down, showing Ruby was behind the wheel.

Ruby took off the sunglasses she was wearing and waved. "Hey Weiss!"

"…what are you doing?" Weiss asked.

"What do you mean? I just got the **freaking Batmobile** delivered to me, and I thought I'd take it for a spin!"

Weiss nervously got into the backseat of the tank/car. "You don't even have a driver's license. **I** don't even have a driver's license."

Ruby pulled out a book from the compartment next to her. "In the law book, there are special laws for hero cars." She opened the book. "Law three-forty-three. 'You don't need a license to drive a sandwich'."

"…what?"

"Oops! I mean law three-forty-four! You don't need to follow any laws at all while behind the wheel of any version of the Batmobile."

Weiss still seemed rather silent.

"Buckle in Weiss! I can't guarantee any brakes! Just Blake!"

Blake looked around the shotgun seat, making her presence known to Weiss. "I really don't want to be here…"

"Why did you bring Blake, Ruru? I thought only we would be hanging out…" Weiss muttered, not catching how her tongue slipped up Ruby's name again. "N-not like I wanted to be alone with you or anything!"

"Don't worry, little Miss tsundere. Yang promised to drive me to the book store today, and Ruby volunteered to do it in her place," Blake answered. "As soon as I am dropped off, I am out of your hair."

"I'm not tsundere!"

Ruby seemed too focused on driving to hear the conversation. "Ok… Focus…"

The Batmobile shook when Ruby hit a tree.

"Son of a bitch!" Weiss screamed when she felt the impact.

"Sorry!" Ruby backed up and continued driving.

Blake groaned as she calmed her nerves. "Now you know why I don't want to be here…"

Weiss nodded in agreement.

The ride started to get less eventful, or so they thought.

Ruby just happened to hit a motorcyclist.

"Oh my Oum! Ruby!" Weiss screamed.

Ruby stopped the car and immediately got out, Blake and Weiss immediately followed.

"Are you ok?" Weiss asked the motorcyclist.

Kirito gave a thumbs up from the pile of motorcycle parts he was lying in. "Turn off the pain nullifiers I told them… It will be fine a told them… I think my arm is broken…"

"…then why give us a thumbs up?" Ruby asked.

"Because my thumb is broken too…"

"I'll call an ambulance." Blake pulled out her scroll.

"I can drive him to the hospital! It would be much faster!" Ruby suggested.

 **"NO!"** Kirito, Blake, and Weiss screamed in unison.

* * *

Weiss sighed as she looked at herself in a mirror, now finally at Ruby's chosen location for their "not date". She hadn't left the bathroom in quite some time, trying to regain herself from Ruby's bad driving and making sure she looked her best for when she was with Ruby.

Definitely not to try to impress her of course.

Weiss tried to smile at the mirror, but her smile appeared to make her look undeniably evil instead of actually making her look happy. She cringed away from the mirror. _I look hideous… Ruru can't see me smile… N-not like I care! …But I should work on this…_ She left the bathroom and put on her best "I don't care" expression.

The area was bright with sunlight.

Ruby had chosen to take them to a carnival.

"How childish…" Weiss muttered as she approached Ruby. "How's the car?"

Ruby had backed the Batmobile out of the solid stone wall she had crashed it into a while ago, and now she had somehow managed to park properly. "It's the Batmobile, Weiss. It's definitely fine."

"…then are you ok?"

Ruby rolled her eyes. "You've seen what I've been through, Weiss. I'm as fine as can be." She sped over to Weiss and hooked her arm with hers. "You told me you never got to go out much as a kid, so I thought I'd let you feel what you've missed!"

"Ruby, this is a bunch of assorted rides and games for children-"

Ruby squealed as she pulled Weiss forcefully along. "Ooh! They have cotton candy over here!"

Weiss sighed and rolled her eyes. "I rest my case."

* * *

"Ruby-!"

"Come on, Weiss! I'll win you something!"

"I don't want you to win me something else from these children's games! **My hands are full!** " Weiss stumbled around, holding a giant shark plushie Ruby had won for her earlier.

Ruby stopped pulling Weiss. "Sowie~ There's just so much to do here! We haven't even gone on the rides yet!"

Weiss huffed and sat down on a bench. "Can we just sit down for a moment?"

Ruby sped off and returned with some drinks. "Your wish is my command, malady."

Weiss set Ruby's gift onto the bench next to her and grabbed a drink from Ruby. "Please just relax for a second…"

Ruby nodded and sat awkwardly with her hands on her lap. "Um… Do you not like it here?"

"It's interesting… My only problem is being pulled around like a ragdoll."

"So you like it?" Ruby asked.

"I won't confirm nor deny," Weiss responded simply.

Ruby pouted. "I'm gonna make you have fun if it's the last thing I do!" She pulled Weiss back up to her feet. "Enough of me playing these games! It's your turn!"

"I will not be playing a children's game for your amusement!" Weiss argued, barely having time to grab Ruby's gift plushie before being dragged along again.

"Fine! We'll play something adults are playing!" Ruby handed some money to a man and was given a couple darts. "Simple darts should be fine!" She handed the darts to Weiss before holding Weiss's plushie for her.

Weiss was shuffled into the spot before she could say anything else. "…fine…" She looked at the target a rather long way from her. She threw her first dart.

* * *

 _Meanwhile…_

Kirito sighed blissfully as he walked along with his wife and daughter, his arm wrapped around Asuna so they could better feel the romantic moment. "Thank god health potions still work on me."

Asuna snuggled into Kirito. "Yeah… Now if only you could go five minutes without getting hurt."

Kirito stopped for a moment to make sure Yui wasn't getting into any trouble before he continued walking with Asuna. "Hey! I can go for as long as I want without getting hurt!"

Asuna was silent for a few moments. "…you ever want to give Yui a younger brother?"

"Wh-what? Why would you ask that!?" Kirito sputtered.

"If you can go the rest of the day without getting hurt, we can work on making her one~" Asuna answered seductively.

"W-well… Yeah! I accept your deal!" Kirito responded.

A dart immediately stabbed right where his heart was.

"…curses…" Kirito collapsed.

* * *

Weiss growled when she realized her poor her aim was. "I only hit the target once…"

"Yeah…and right on the edge," Ruby added.

"…never bring this incident up again." Weiss took her gift back from Ruby and started to walk away from the stall.

"At least you didn't hit anyone!" Ruby chirped, having no idea a certain swordsman had been taken to the emergency room because of one of Weiss's darts.

Weiss stopped suddenly, Ruby bumping into her.

Ruby stumbled back. "You ok, Weiss?"

Weiss was staring at something, a glimmer of childish wonder in her eyes.

Ruby laughed when she saw Weiss was watching a man make balloon animals. _So this is what peaks your interest, little Weissy~_ She pulled Weiss over to the man, Weiss struggling the whole time.

"I-I don't need anything so childish…" Weiss muttered.

"Yeah you do! I see the childish sparkle in your eyes!" Ruby turned to the random man. "Make me a rapier!"

The man tilted his head over in confusion but indeed made a rapier out of blue balloons. He held the rapier out to Ruby.

Ruby shook her head. "Not for me! For her!" She pointed at Weiss.

Weiss blushed. "D-don't treat me like a child, Ruru…" She took the little balloon rapier anyway, holding it with Ruby's shark plushie.

Ruby giggled and started pulling Weiss along with her again. "Thank you!"

The random man just shrugged and watched them leave.

* * *

"Hey!"

Weiss closed her eyes in annoyance. "No…"

"You there!"

"Please no…" Weiss groaned.

"Are you listening to me!?"

Weiss turned to Ruby, silently begging her to make the noise stop.

They were waiting in line to get on a roller coaster Ruby had wanted to get on.

There just happened to be a game next to them. A game in which you drop a man into a pool of water by means of hitting a target.

The man performed his side of the job by insulting everyone that came by in an attempt to get them to spend money on his game.

Ruby looked at the dunk tank before turning back to Weiss. "I'm so sorry…"

And the man had now chosen to focus on Weiss.

"Hey! I'm talking to you! The girl with the white hair! It's ok if you're not used to being noticed! You're so tiny you probably get missed a lot!" The man waved his arms to get Weiss's attention.

Weiss reached for Myrtenaster but decided against killing a man on that day.

"Is your brain small too? I'm talkin' here!"

Weiss got closer to grabbing Myrtenaster. "He's been at this for the whole thirty minutes we've been in this line."

"Just wait a little longer, Weiss. It's almost our turn!" Ruby pulled Weiss's hand away from her rapier.

"Wait! Are you not responding because you're a boy? Your chest is definitely a boy's!" The man added to his list of insults.

"He's dead." Weiss started to radiate with pure rage.

Literally radiate, like she was glowing.

If Yang was there, she would be so proud.

Weiss smiled sweetly at Ruby. "Hold our spot for me, Ruru." She let her rage return at full force. "I have some business to take care of."

Ruby nodded nervously. "Y-yeah! Go ahead!"

Weiss didn't go to the dunk tank. She left the area.

Ruby just stood there, waiting for Weiss's return. She glared at the source of Weiss's rage. "What have you done?"

The man just shrugs. "Hey! This is how I get paid-!" He takes a dart to the chest.

"You were right, Ruru~! I love darts~!" Weiss cackled evilly as she returned with a handful of darts.

The man cringed in pain when the second dart hit closer to his heart. "W-wait!"

Weiss giggled like a small child with every dart she threw. "Do you still want to play with me~?" She spoke like a demon songstress.

And Ruby had to admit it was kind of hot seeing Weiss like this.

"Your blood is red~! It's so pretty~! I love red~!" Weiss threw dart after dart, no one wanting to stop her in fear of feeling her wrath.

The man was now just a barely alive mess, completely speechless as to what was happening.

Weiss nailed the target with her last dart, dropping the man into the water. She turned to the line Ruby was waiting in.

The line immediately ran for the hills.

Ruby quickly took Weiss's hand. "It's our turn!"

Weiss blinked confusedly as her rage settled down. "When did the line disappear?" She turned to the man she had just reduced into a pin cushion. "…what happened to him?"

"Not important!" Ruby hopped into a roller coaster car and patted the seat next to her. "Come on!"

"…that man's bleeding out, and I think he's also drowning…"

"He'll be fine!"

"If you say so…" Weiss sat next to Ruby, leaving Ruby's gifts with the ride operator.

Ruby pulled down the safety bar. "Hang on!"

Weiss eyed the safety bar curiously. "…what is this?"

"It's to keep us from falling out, silly!"

The ride operator flicked a switch, turning on the roller coaster. "It's also to prevent the loss of your spine."

"Fall…out? Lose…spine?" Weiss asked.

The roller coaster started to slowly climb a slope.

"Yeah! It's awesome!" Ruby responded as she threw her hands into the air. "Hold your hands up! It makes it more fun!"

"…I'll pass." Weiss tightly gripped the safety bar.

They finally got to the top of the slope, allowing them to see the crazy ride of high-speed loops.

"…fuck me," Weiss muttered, her eyes narrowing in fear.

The second the ride moved, Ruby found Weiss desperately hugging her for support.

"R-Ruby!" Weiss screamed as the ride picked up speed.

 _Aw yeah!_ Ruby definitely was enjoying herself. _High-speed roller coaster and a cute girl hugging me for support! This couldn't get any better!_

* * *

"Hehe~ How did you enjoy the ride, Weiss?" Ruby asked as she walked along.

Weiss on the other hand wasn't walking. She was piggybacking on Ruby. "…I still feel sick…"

Ruby was thankful for the raw strength that came with carrying Crescent Rose. While Weiss was as light as a feather, Ruby did still have to carry the giant shark plushie she had won for Weiss earlier.

And no one at this point wanted to ask why she was carrying a balloon rapier in her right boot.

Ruby could have sworn that the shark plushie was heavier than Weiss was, and that weirded her out slightly.

It had been a while, and the sun just set a little while ago, the lights of the amusement park covering the area in multiple colors.

"Ruru…let's go home…" Weiss groaned tiredly.

Ruby squealed when she heard how adorable Weiss was sounding. "Not yet! We have one more thing to do!"

"But I'm tired…"

"You'll want to do this! I promise!" Ruby approached one last ride as Weiss silently napped on her back.

The ride operator smiled at Ruby. "You two are just in time. Take a seat."

Ruby stepped through a door and let it be closed behind her. She set Weiss's things down on one seat before easing Weiss down onto the other seat. She sat next to Weiss and looked out the window as they were lifted up.

Their last ride of the day was the ferris wheel, the perfect place to let Weiss feel a bit more of what she missed as a child.

Ruby poked Weiss's cheek. "Wake up, sleepyhead!"

Weiss blinked to clear herself of sleepiness. "…where are we?"

Ruby pointed out the window. "Take a look!"

Weiss watched as the amusement park below them grew smaller before adjusting her gaze to Vale.

"Pretty?"

"…yes…" Weiss smiled at Ruby. "I guess now I can truly say I enjoyed my time."

The darkness of night made it so they could see every light in Vale.

It was quite a sight.

Ruby was more distracted by the shine in Weiss's eyes however.

Weiss noticed Ruby was focusing on her. "W-what are you looking at, dolt?" She blushed and looked down at her lap nervously.

Ruby put a finger under Weiss's chin and raised her head up until their eyes met. "…something more beautiful than the view…"

The two got closer to each other.

Their lips were less than an inch away from each other.

The two pulled away when they heard the crack of an explosion.

Fireworks, the ultimate destroyer of Ruby's opportunity.

Weiss was now focused on the exploding colors in the sky.

The moment still stayed silent however.

 _Damn… Guess I gotta try again some other time…_ Ruby mentally kicked herself for not taking her opportunity while she could.

The ride ended after another ten minutes, Ruby and Weiss exiting the amusement park and asking Yang to pick them up a little while later.

Yang was more than happy to drive over and pick them up. Mainly because she had just as much faith in Ruby's driving as Weiss did.

* * *

Class next day…had certain highlights.

Kirito entered the classroom late, even though he was usually ten minutes early. "Sorry I'm late, class. I was in an investigation."

The class was silent except for Ruby who was tinkering on a random machine.

It was mechatronics class after all.

Kirito forced on a grin. "I just happened to start an investigation around the fact that someone **put a fucking dart it my chest**."

Weiss immediately tightened her grip on the pencil she was holding.

"Yeah, class! Funny thing really! You see, I was going around the amusement park with my family, then a random dart embeds itself in my chest. Totally ruined my chance of…'getting some' with my wife." Kirito slammed his fist onto his desk, easily splitting the wood in half.

Ruby turned to Weiss. "Oh crap…" she whispered.

Kirito forced back his fake smile. "Don't worry, students! Once this class is over, I'm going to find my attacker or attackers and serve up some cold revenge!"

"…professor? Can me and Weiss be excused?" Ruby asked.

"…why?"

"I feel sick!" Weiss responded immediately before rushing out of the classroom.

Ruby chuckled nervously. "I'm…gonna make sure she's ok…" She ran after Weiss.

* * *

 **Ew... Choppy chapter is choppy... Guess that's what I get for writing under stress... Well, you guys know the drill! Leave me reviews! Join my White Rose army! ...don't get mad at me for updating so late...**

 **...and to the BumblyBY army, tell me if you want me to rally you up to. I am willing.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Didn't get as much of a response as I usually do last chapter, and I just happened to have this one sitting around so... *throws more wood into the White Rose shipping fire that burns in our hearts* Time to strengthen the flames! This week featuring Red vs Blue references, Game Grumps quotes, and the Transformers Universal Greeting!**

* * *

As per usual, Beacon teams had been dispatched for a small mission.

Weiss was not taking kindly to the location as well.

"…is she ok? She's not moving." Yang points to the bundle of blankets in the corner of the cave they were camping in.

"I don't even know…" Ruby looks up from the sniper rifle she was cleaning.

According to the mission statement, dust weapons were too volatile for the area. As such, each and every hunter in the area had to hand in their weapons and grab weapons from the soldiers in the area, that being the only reason Ruby was tending to a sniper rifle and not her precious Crescent Rose.

Blake pokes the blankets that Weiss had buried herself in. "Weiss, make something of yourself."

Weiss pops out of the blankets. "I-It's t-too cold. I-I'm staying where I want to stay!"

"How is **Weiss** the least resistant to cold? I would think she'd be used to it!" Yang grabs the shotgun she was given earlier. "Come on, Weiss! We need you out there!"

Weiss sinks back into her blankets and throws out the piece of metal. "No you don't. All I have to fight with is this useless 'sword'. That green-blue soldier ripped me off."

Ruby grabs the handle of the useless 'alien plasma sword'. "Yeah… Well, you could have gotten a talking gun. Blake's not happy with her draw either."

Blake growls as she holds up the gun that she had gotten. "It fires confetti."

 **"AFFIRMATIVE. BASIC USER INTERACTION IS NOT SUITABLE FOR OPERATING MAIN CANNON."** The gun drones.

"…that's not right," Yang mutters. "That talking gun got closer to Blakey-senpai in a few seconds than I have in multiple semesters…"

"What?" Blake narrows her eyes at Yang.

"Nothing!" Yang clears her throat. _Senpai notice me…_

"We gotta finish this mission before another blizzard picks up! We've only got one more day to do this, and our grades depend on it!" Ruby starts pulling blankets off of Weiss.

"Fine." Weiss grabs her useless sword handle as she moves out of her remaining blankets. "Though remind me again who took all the useful weapons and left me with this useless piece of sci-fi culture?" She glares at all three of her partners.

"Sorry!" All three of them apologize at the same time.

Weiss scowls at them before leaving the cave into the light snow. "Let's just get this done so we can go back to where it isn't snowing."

"Ok!" Ruby chirps and runs to Weiss's side. "We'll go north!"

"We'll go south!" Yang wraps an arm around Blake's shoulders.

Blake clears her throat in annoyance.

"Sorry…" Yang pulls her arm away.

* * *

"You think Yang and Blake found the Grimm yet?" Ruby asks as she walks along, completely bored.

"I-I doubt it. Th-they would have contacted us." Weiss was shivering the whole time they had been there.

Ruby looks Weiss down, stopping at her exposed legs. _…I wonder if Beacon will consider possibly telling us when they change our mission locations randomly in the future. Swapping from Forever Fall to a random ass place in the mountains during the ride over isn't exactly right…_ Ruby sighs in annoyance. "Where the hell are the Grimm!? We've been here for hours!"

"S-some place dark and mysterious? Like a random temple?" Weiss suggests.

"Yeah! If only there was one of those around here!" Ruby pulls out her sniper rifle.

Weiss places her hand on Ruby's head and turns her around to face a random temple. "L-like that one?"

Ruby blinks a few times, pretty sure she was seeing things. "Whoa."

Weiss steps through the temple doorway, eager to get out of the snow. "Come on! Let's finish this!"

"Weiss! Wait! Don't get too far from me! You don't have a weapon!" Ruby runs after Weiss.

"I was hoping I could forget that." Weiss pulls out her useless sword handle. "…though I do technically have another weapon…"

Ruby runs her hands over the walls of the temple, trying to identify the markings. "…never seen anything like this in history class. Looks alien."

Weiss rolls her eyes. "Everything is supposedly from aliens these days. Until I see proof, I wouldn't hold your breath."

Ruby nods as she continues to look around. "We got claw marks everywhere here. There's definitely Grimm in here."

"Lead the way."

Ruby takes one step.

A loud cracking sound filled the room.

Ruby slowly looks down. "…crap." She was standing on thin ice, and below the ice was a long way down.

Weiss tries to open a glyph to support Ruby.

Her aura flickers weakly.

"…semblance locks? Pretty advanced for a human temple, wouldn't you think?" Ruby asks, a grin forming on her face.

"For the last time, Ruby. There are no aliens here. Just give me a second to think of something…" Weiss opens her scroll. "…Yang and Blake aren't close at all."

"No shit, we went in two different directions."

The ice cracks a bit more.

"…can I panic? This looks like a great time to panic…"

Weiss holds out her hand to Ruby. "Two options. Make a break for it, or go slowly and hope the ice doesn't give out. Your call."

Ruby slowly edges her way towards Weiss. "Ok…I can make this-" She grabs Weiss's hand. "-made it."

The ice gives out, Ruby's face showing pure terror as she fell.

Sadly she hadn't let go of Weiss's hand, making her lose her footing.

"Ruby, you dolt!" Weiss screams as she falls.

"Hang onto me, Weiss!" Ruby hugs Weiss tightly and wraps herself around the much frailer girl.

* * *

Yang and Blake hasn't seen anything in hours, only the gentle falling of snow. At least that was the case until they found a random temple of their own.

"Aliens?" Yang asks.

"Aliens," Blake agrees.

They turn into a random room.

It was a big room with some sort of large light in the center.

"Nice place to make a game room," Yang comments.

Blake turns around behind them and pulls the trigger of her gun, a spray of confetti coming out.

Kirito narrows his eyes at Blake. "…hello? What are you two doing here?"

"Professor Kirigaya's an alien! Take him down!" Yang points at Kirito accusingly.

"What? No! I was here doing some research for Ozpin and making sure that Ruby and Weiss had their mission relocated here as their punishment for putting a dart in my chest." Kirito walks by them.

"Oh. That makes sense actually. Weiss is in a lot of pain by-the-way." Blake pulls her gun away from Kirito.

"Thanks for telling me. That fills my heart with joy." Kirito points to the light at the center. "Try not to touch that. It's only for a warrior of true strength and mental clarity." He starts to leave. "I've had my cameo for this chapter. Have fun you two."

Yang and Blake look at the light curiously.

Yang grins. "Try it, Blake."

"What!? No! You try it!" Blake argues.

"But strength and mental clarity! That's totally in your ninja skills!" Yang forcefully picks up Blake and throws her into the light before she can argue.

A few moments pass.

Yang sits down and waits for Blake. "Senpai?"

Blake stumbles out of the light, completely disoriented. "THE CAKE IS A LIE! SWISS FUCKING CHEESE!"

Yang runs to Blake's side and supports her. "Are you ok?"

Blake grabs Yang by her shoulders and looks Yang in the eyes. "Motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfucking Facebook movie bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit!?"

"…I have no idea what we're talking about right now…"

"Goddamn creator of Facebook right fucking lawyers and shit right fucking Winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fucking shit I can't even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man!"

"Blake, you're scaring me…"

"Motherfucking Spider-Man Spider-Man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg! I'm very tired…"

"No problem, Blakey! I can do the rest of the work for you!"

"No man I'll just talk about the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-Man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like die I cant think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook!?"

Yang pulls a bottle of pills from her pocket. "You should take one of these… They help fight insanity…"

Blake relaxes for a second before a look of realization forms on her face. **"MARK ZUCKERBERG."**

Yang forces a pill down Blake's throat. "Stay with me!"

Blake blinks as her head clears. "…I don't remember a thing."

Yang sighs in relief. "Ok, I'm sorry I even did that… We should get out of here."

Blake growls and grabs Yang by her scarf. "No way! It's your turn now!"

"B-but I don't have mental clarity!" Yang argues.

Blake rolls her eyes and looks Yang over. "…would it give you mental clarity if I gave you whatever you want for doing this?"

Yang's face turns red as she internally screams with excitement.

Blake takes that as an answer. "Go on."

Yang charges into the light, her vision being filled with white. "Hello?"

In front of her stands a glowing alien figure.

Yang chuckles nervously, knowing it's too late to turn around. "Bah-weep-Gragnah wheep ni ni bong?"

"Bah-weep-Gragnah wheep ni ni bong," the alien responds.

* * *

Ruby groans as she wakes up, her aura having cushioned the fall. "Ugh… At least nothing is blocking semblance use now…" She feels something on top of her, something warm. She reaches up to feel out what had her pinned down. "It's soft…" She mutters as she squeezes the object.

Weiss wakes up at that moment. "E-eek!" She jumps off of Ruby and covers her chest protectively. "R-Ruby! What's happening!?"

Ruby sees the area Weiss was protecting and looks at her hand. She finally comes to a realization. "S-sorry! You were crushing me, and I had to get you off!"

"W-whatever! We have to get out of here!" Weiss dusts the ice off her combat skirt as she stands up. "Come on!"

Ruby follows Weiss through the underground labyrinth. "I'm not sure this is just a temple… The hallways are organized like wiring."

"Let me guess, you're going to say it was made by-?"

"Aliens!"

Weiss stops in a large room. "By this point, I'd believe it."

Up on a pedestal is a very familiar object.

Ruby looks at Weiss's useless sword handle then back to the pedestal. "Wait… That looks exactly like-"

Weiss grabs the new sword handle on the pedestal. "Mine." She flicks the sword out, this time getting a satisfying sound of energy. "Much better." She turns off her new sword.

Ruby eyes the plasma sword, a slight bit of drool coming from the corner of her mouth. "…I think I may have just had a sexual fantasy… I want to touch your sword so bad…"

Weiss puts the unusable plasma sword in her dust pouch. "No Ruby." She lifts up her skirt and hooks her new sword onto the side of her short shorts.

 _T-too short!_ Ruby has an epic nosebleed when Weiss lifts her skirt.

The growls of Grimm fill the area, snapping Ruby out of her thoughts.

She loads her sniper rifle and wipes her nose. "Ready Weiss?"

Weiss reaches under her skirt and pulls out her sword, turning it on. "More than ready."

The moment is interrupted by Ruby's scroll ringing.

"Seriously?" Weiss slumps her shoulders in annoyance.

Ruby opens her scroll. "…Yang and Blake are on their way!"

Weiss slashes through a beowolf, savoring how the blade felt no resistance. "And?"

"…apparently they found Santa."

Weiss freezes in place. "…I don't even want to know…"

Ruby types out a message and sent it to Yang. "I told them to just stay where they are."

"…why?"

Ruby shoots a Grimm. "Because we've got this!"

Weiss kills three Grimm with a spinning slash. "I can agree with that statement."

* * *

Yang looks up from her scroll. "It's been ten minutes. They're probably almost here."

Blake turns to the alien hologram Yang had found. "They'll be bringing the sword most likely, alien."

The hologram nods. "Scanning for lifeforms."

"Blake! At least call Santa by his name!" Yang argues.

"It's an alien AI! Giving it a name was a stupid idea!" Blake rolls her eyes.

"Sensing two lifeforms," "Santa" interrupts.

Ruby waves to them, Weiss not far behind her.

"Ruby!" Yang runs over and hugs Ruby. "You ok? We lost connection with you for a while!"

"I'm fine! We even got Weiss a plasma sword that actually turns on!"

Weiss was still shivering. "L-let's just finish here so we can go home!"

Blake points to "Santa". "He'll explain what we need to finish."

The hologram turns to the temple. "Inside those walls lies the purge program, which enables the destruction of all life on your planet if they are deemed unworthy."

"Wrong information."

Santa refocuses. "The rest of your targets are inside the walls of my people's temple."

"I can work with that! I'm done here!" Weiss whips out her scroll.

"Um…what are you doing?" Ruby asks.

"Getting rid of a dangerous life-purging temple and the rest of the Grimm we need to take care of. You may want to step back." Weiss closes her scroll and proceeds to make distance between her and the temple. "I wasn't lying when I said I had one more weapon with me."

Everyone follows Weiss until they are a good distance away.

Weiss puts on sunglasses. "I've wanted to use this for a very long time. The full wrath of the Schnee Dust Company."

Ruby looks around the area, seeing nothing. "…Weiss?"

"It's coming."

A pillar of pure energy rains down from the sky, incinerating the temple and everything inside.

"We're done here." Weiss starts to walk away.

"W-what was that!? It was awesome!" Ruby almost screams.

"Orbital death laser," Weiss responds smugly.

"How long have you had that!?" Yang asks, just as excited as Ruby.

"A very long time now."

* * *

Tucker spun the chamber of Myrtenaster repeatedly out of boredom. "Why did everyone here get a useful weapon except me?"

"Just be happy we're getting our own weapons back soon. My back can't take any more of carrying this thing, artificial or not." Church drags the Crescent Rose along with him.

"I have no idea what you two boys are talking about! I thought this trade was a great idea!" Sarge argues, taking off the Ember Celica.

Team RWBY enters the building.

Weiss glares at Tucker. "You!"

Tucker flinches away. "Hey! I like it rough but let's keep it slow here! Bow chika-!"

Weiss nails Tucker with his plasma sword handle. "Give me back Myrtenaster before I fry you!"

"Ok! Ok! Take it!" Tucker just threw the rapier back to Weiss.

Weiss returns Myrtenaster to its sheath. "Don't worry you little prick! I got my own, so your useless sword didn't kill me!" She turns on her own plasma sword and holds it in front of Tucker's face.

Ruby, Yang, and Blake had already reclaimed their weapons, but watching Weiss rage was just too entertaining for them to pass up.

Tucker eyes Weiss's sword. "…you will need to hand that in to us…"

"I do not! You have your useless one, and I have my practical one!" Weiss turns off her sword.

"We actually do need to confiscate that. Safety purposes. Can't let just anyone carry alien weapons," Church argues.

"Then why hand me one that doesn't even turn on!?" Weiss points at Tucker's sword.

"…Carolina? Little help here!"

Carolina enters the room and immediately sees Weiss's plasma sword. "…please tell me Tucker died, and the sword rebonded."

"Nope," Church answers.

"Dammit." Carolina holds out a hand to Weiss. "Give me the sword, or you will feel true pain."

"Let her keep the sword, or you will feel true pain!" Kirito calls out from the wall he was leaning on across the room. "You can be as skilled as you want, but I was the one who fought Lord Beerus when he visited Remnant! Just pack your bags and go back to Chorus!"

Carolina turns away. "What's the sword's importance to you?"

"Headmaster Ozpin thinks it would be safer kept in a Beacon student's hands."

Carolina leaves without another word, signaling for the reds and blues to follow her.

Weiss hooks her sword back under her skirt. "I've dealt with enough crossover bullshit today."

"I can relate. That's every day of my life." Kirito waves before leaving.

* * *

It was a relief to everyone to finally be back at the dorm.

"The nerds are certainly having fun," Yang comments as she watches Ruby and Weiss work.

"They have an alien weapon, and they just figured out how to equip dust to it. That's just their cup of tea." Blake doesn't look up from reading.

Weiss activates her plasma sword, the blade glowing red like fire dust.

Ruby squeals in delight.

"Oum…why won't these girls just kiss yet?" Yang groans.

"Speaking of that…" Blake closes her book and gives Yang a quick kiss on the cheek. "I believe I owed you this?"

Yang starts sputtering uncontrollably as her face heats up.

"I thought so."

* * *

 **Not really that noticeable, but I changed writing styles since last chapter. Leave me a review! Fave, follow, keep the fire burning!**

 **...when I'm not writing, doing homework, or at work, I am not always writing. Usually I'm very approachable. If you guys want to hang during my moments of writer's block, I'm almost always available for smutty RWBY roleplays and somewhat open to 3DS smash bros challenges. I totally say this because I'm awesome! Totally not because I'm lonely and have no friends! *cuddles up in lonely corner* Just message me in my PM box to hang out... Keep all socialization out of my reviews...**


	8. Chapter 8

***Crawls in weakly* Yo! It's been a while! RWBits ain't done yet! This is the one fanfiction I'm certain to keep! I've been busy with life things. Painful life things. This chapter definitely suffered. It really did. This started development the second the previous chapter came out so...I was definitely distracted. Updates may even get slower because this is my final semester of college. Obviously a job will be more time-consuming. The plight of entering college early... I will not give up! I must stay FULL OF DETERMINATION.**

* * *

"Yang…"

Yang groans and rolls over in her sleep. "Five more minutes…"

"Yang! You can go back to bed after this, but I need to ask you something right now!"

Yang rolls over again so she can face her sister. "Ruby… It's early… This is like…Weiss's waking time…"

"That's why I need to ask you this now!" Ruby turns to Weiss's closet.

Yang blinks to let her vision clear. She can hear Weiss changing in the closet. "…you woke me up so I can listen to your crush change? Listen, sis, I'd rather watch instead of listen."

"I just need to ask… Has Weiss been…dreamier than usual lately?" Ruby asks.

Weiss exits her closet, dressed in a tube top and sports pants. She stops moving when she sees Ruby and Yang are awake. "…Ruby have another nightmare?"

"No, Weiss! I'm good!" Ruby responds, a blush forming over her face.

"…I'd rather not have to sleep in your bed to comfort you again. It's a death trap." Weiss flicks her ponytail, letting her hair positively sparkle in the daylight that came in through the window.

"N-no! I'm good!"

Weiss shrugs, grabbing Myrtenaster and her new plasma sword before leaving the dorm to go exercise.

"Ooh~! You managed to get Weiss in bed with you already? Now you need to work on fucking her!" Yang grins at Ruby and pats her on the shoulder.

"Yang! I need you to answer my question!" Ruby snaps.

Yang rolls her eyes. "No idea what you're seeing. You probably want her so bad that your vision of her is changing." She slumps back into her bed. "Let me sleep…"

Ruby sighs and gets back on her own bed. "I can't be the only one seeing this…"

* * *

"Blake… Has Weiss been looking…dreamier lately?" Ruby asks, hoping to hear something different than she heard from Yang.

Blake looks up from her book. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

The two were sitting outside on a bench, enjoying the sun and reading books together.

"Come on! It can't be just me!" Ruby throws her hands up in frustration, forgetting she was holding a book.

Kirito just happened to be walking by just in time to be hit by the book Ruby accidentally threw. "Goddamit I hate making cameos!" He collapses unconscious on the ground seconds after complaining.

The two girls nervously look at the body of their unconscious professor for a few moments before returning to their conversation.

"I can prove it, Blake! I really can!" Ruby argues.

"Then do so." Blake closes her book.

Ruby pulls out her scroll and accesses the internet. "She's got her own hashtag! Right next to #sexyMarkiplier!"

Blake narrows her eyes. "#dreamySchnee?"

"And it's on every Weiss picture now!" Ruby scrolls through pretty much every website on the internet with one sweep of her finger.

"…still don't see it…"

Ruby closes her scroll in frustration. "Fine! Watch this!" She waves to Weiss who was training close by.

Weiss notices Ruby and approaches her. "Yes, Ruby?"

As if on cue, the sun shines in a way that accents every bit of skin not covered by her tube top and pants.

"We're going to enjoy the sunny day and go to the beach later! Yang's even bringing the grill so we can barbecue! You wanna come?" Ruby asks.

Weiss flicks her ponytail, sweat flying off and turning into sparkles in the sun. "We'll see. If I can't make it, bring me home some leftovers of whatever you eat." She turns away and walks off with a completely unintentional sashay.

Blake opens her book and covers her blushing face. "Oh my… I see it…"

"I told you!" Ruby snaps.

"But it's not as if there aren't other girls who don't act similarly." Blake turns to Yang, who was currently distracted with loading a grill into the car she rented for their day at the beach.

Yang finally closes the trunk and leans on the car, the sun doing everything it did to Weiss, but Yang definitely had the body to manage it better in Blake's eyes.

Blake doesn't notice the trail of blood that was running down her own nose.

Ruby pokes Blake's shoulder. "Blake, you're sorta losing yourself in my sister's cleavage."

"N-not that I have a crush on her or anything!" Blake wipes her nose immediately.

"…leave the tsundere to Weiss. You don't manage it as well."

"I-I'm not-!"

Ruby narrows her eyes at Blake.

"Oh shit I'm doing the tsundere…" Blake clears her throat and refocuses her mind. "I don't have a crush on your sister," she repeats more calmly.

"There we go. That's the Blake I know." Ruby pats Blake on the back. She freezes as a look of realization forms on her face.

Blake waves her hand in front of Ruby's face in an attempt to get her attention. "Ruby?"

Ruby looks after Weiss before looking back to Blake. "Weiss is in a dreamy state right now… I can't imagine how she would look…" She swallows loudly. "…in a swimsuit."

"Then hope she comes to the beach with us," Blake says plainly.

"No Blake! I need to force it to happen somehow! I can't live without that image permanently in my head and as the background for my desktop!" Ruby says, almost in a state of panic.

"Well it's not like the solution to your problem will be hand-delivered to you right this second." Blake looks around as her expression grows more annoyed. **"I said, 'It's not like the solution to your problem will be hand-delivered to you right this second'!"**

"Wassup?" A mailman walks up to them. "Got a package for Ruby Rose."

"I'm Ruby!" Ruby waves to the man. "Who's it from?"

The mailman looks at the name on the box. "It's…from Super Ultra Omega Legendary SSJ27 Kami Master Huntsman Professor PhD Dr. Julius Djur Dullahan Iris, unabridged and uncut founder and CEO of the Green Knight Assembly 2.0."

"God that's a mouthful…" Blake mutters.

Ruby signs for the package and lets the mailman go on his way. "If it's from the professor, this must be a new item to test…"

"For someone sending you potentially dangerous items, he's got quite a few titles. Can't he test this stuff himself?" Blake asks.

Ruby shrugs. "If whatever's in this box is going to be what turns the tide of today, I don't even care!" She opens the box.

Inside is a white ball with a black star in the center, a radar or some sort only a few inches from the ball.

"Is that a recolored Dragon Ball?" Blake narrows her eyes at the items.

"Mine!" Ruby pockets the one Dragon Ball and turns on the radar.

The radar shows Ruby's Dragon Ball, but it also shows the other six gathered not too far away.

"That's really convenient. It's almost like the shitty-ass author didn't even try to build this up," Blake comments.

"To adventure!" Ruby runs off.

Blake simply watches her leave. "…have fun?"

* * *

Ruby finds the remaining Dragon Balls lying on the ground in the middle of nowhere. "Now's my chance!" She quickly runs over and places her Dragon Ball with the rest.

The sound of nearby voices becomes more audible.

"Eep!" Ruby jumps back into the bushes.

Neptune approaches the Dragon Balls with a radar of his own. "…Goten? Did you find the last Dragon Ball while I was in the bathroom?"

"Nope! I was too busy calling your mom about getting an extra radar! Sadly she said her spare went missing!" Sun calls back.

"Then why are there seven here?"

Sun walks over to Neptune. "Trunks, dude, seriously. Are you going to look a gift horse in the mouth?"

Neptune just grunts in agreement. "Dragon! Arise and grant my wish!"

A Grimm dragon comes out of the Dragon Balls, black scales almost blending in with the darkening sky. "I am Lupus, the dragon of undying loyalty, the strongest of all dragons. My creator has no limits, and my limits are equally nonexistent. Speak your wish."

"Ooh! Much fancier than Shenron at home or Porunga on Namek!" Sun comments.

Neptune grins and raises his hands towards the dragon. "My wish will finally come true! Lupus! Make Weiss fall in love with me and only me! This is what I ask of you!"

Lupus narrows his eyes before exploding into uncharacteristic laughter. "Yo, dog! I grant people up some wishes you dig? Like real damn wishes? That sink in? I'm not a miracle worker!"

"B-but you said you have no limits!" Neptune argues.

"Dude, I only say that because I gotta sound cool! I can't let you crush White Rose! Ninety dang percent of RWBY fans ship White Rose!" Lupus laughs even harder. "I'm not a dick! I'm not going to be like the current writers of the show and try to screw with that big as fuck ninety percent! If you wanna make another wish, I promise I can grant it up real nice!"

Neptune just gapes at the dragon.

Sun raises his hand. "But you said your creator has no limits, which means you have no limits!"

"Dude, if you wanna talk to Remnant's guardian, I can totally wait. I am like, the most patient of the patient dragons. If you wanna fly on over to the **other damn side** of the planet and find Rara the Loyal, he's very hard to miss." Lupus just stares at them and waits for a response.

Neptune clenches his fists and starts to fly. "Come on, Goten."

Sun flies after him. "Ok!"

The two are gone in seconds.

Ruby comes out of hiding the second they're gone. "Hello, Mr. Dragon!"

Lupus flashes a toothy dragon grin at Ruby. "Ruby Rose! I was just indirectly talking about you!"

"Um…ok? Can you grant my wish then?"

"Sorry, girl! I gotta be fair and grant wishes properly! First come, first serve!"

Ruby widens her eyes and gives the dragon her most adorable face.

"Come on! Don't do that! It's like looking at a kicked puppy!"

Ruby lets out an adorable whimper.

Lupus gives in. "…we can work up a trade. I am dying for a goddarn choco chip cookie, ya dig? I never get to eat cookies when inside mah balls."

Ruby narrows her eyes. "Um…"

"Yes, yes, little one. I very darn well know how bad my phrasing was…"

Ruby holds up a chocolate chip cookie. "Here you go!"

Lupus nibbles the cookie out of Ruby's hand before returning to his position. "Ok…" He gets back in his professional side. "What is your first wish?"

"I want Weiss to come to the beach with us today!" Ruby quickly chirps.

"…that's it?"

"Yep!"

Lupus lets out a flash of light. "Your wish has been granted. Now for your second wish."

"Second?" Ruby asks.

"You get three. I'm not one of those pathetic one-shot dragons."

"…I want Weiss's swimsuit to go missing before we leave, and in its place is the most perfect bikini of all time," Ruby wishes after some thought.

"Girl, you do know you're gonna get to plow that virgin soil someday, right?" Lupus asks.

"I'll get to what!?"

"Shit. Wiping out her memory of what I just said…" Lupus flashes. "Wish granted, and order restored."

Ruby blinks in confusion. "…wha?"

"Second wish granted, girl. Gonna need that third."

"…I'll save this wish for Neptune and Sun. Can't let them get suspicious! Bye Mr. Dragon!" Ruby runs off happily.

Lupus just floats around lazily.

Neptune and Sun land painfully in front of him, the two clearly having had their butts kicked recently.

"What did he tell you? After kicking your butts anyway."

Neptune groans and stands up. "He told me to tell you something." He said a few foreign words.

Lupus bellows in laughter. "So it shall be! Your wish has been granted!"

"Wait. You mean my wish was truly granted!?" Neptune asks excitedly.

"No, moron! My master's wish was granted!"

Neptune and Sun gape at each other for a few seconds.

"That cheating old furry!" Neptune yells into the heavens.

"If it makes you feel better, he did wish for you to find love!" Lupus starts to fade away. "Find love in your guy friend anyway~!"

The Dragon Balls scattered.

Neptune turns back to Sun for a few seconds. "N-no homo!"

* * *

Ruby runs around the beach excitedly. "It's like pure freedom! Liberation! …whatever other words pertain to this!" She was now wearing a one-piece, open-back swimsuit, but she still had her hood on for some reason.

Yang laughs as she watches Ruby. "Oh boy… Thank Oum you came, Weiss! I definitely can't keep up with Ruby like you can."

Weiss wasn't moving out of the car. "I-it's a gift…" She was wrapped in a towel to cover up everything but her head.

Blake rolls her eyes and starts trying to pull Weiss out of the car. "Come on! Are you still complaining about your swimsuit? It looks fine!"

"You have no room to talk! You're not even wearing yours, and neither is Yang!" Weiss grips tightly onto her seat.

"You know you want Ruby to see you like this! She hasn't seen you properly yet! She's only seen you hiding yourself like a coward!"

Yang shrugs. "She's got a point. Let's go change and leave Ruby to pry Weiss out." She clings to Blake's right arm.

Blake turns her head so she isn't facing Yang. "Hmph… If you insist."

"Tsundere~" Weiss whispers.

"Shut up." Blake stalks off with Yang, flipping Weiss the middle finger.

Weiss laughs. "So snappy."

And as soon as that exchange was over, Ruby was at Weiss's side. "Come on already! You can't waste the day in there!"

"I can and very likely will," Weiss huffs in annoyance.

"Ok then…" Ruby starts to walk away. "How will I reach my back?" She tosses her hood to Weiss.

Weiss catches the hood. "Why is that so important?"

"I need to put on sun lotion, but apparently you won't help me…"

Weiss immediately blushes deeply and slides out of the car. "I-I'll do it…"

Ruby glares at Weiss. "No towel."

"B-but I like the towel!"

"That's it! Come here!" Ruby grabs onto the towel with both hands and starts pulling.

"Ruru! No!" Weiss pulls back.

Yang and Blake return in their swimsuits to see Ruby and Weiss having their own game of tug-of-war.

"…is Ruby using her teeth?" Blake asks.

"…that's my sis all right," Yang confirms as she wipes off a tear from her eye. "I'm so proud~"

Weiss blushes when Ruby finally gets her towel off. "Give that back, you oaf!"

Ruby grins at Weiss. "What's wrong? You have problems with being beautiful?" She was internally squealing with joy.

"W-what? Hmph! I'll a-accept you're compliment…" Weiss turns away from Ruby. She was wearing a silvery bikini with a snowflake design and had ribbons tying the sides of the bottom together.

Yang nudges Blake and whistles. "Damn… #dreamySchnee lives…"

Blake growls and hugs Yang's arm. _You should be noticing me…_

Ruby turns away and wipes off a spot of blood that had come from her nose. "First order of business-!"

Weiss narrows her eyes at Ruby, clutching onto the bottle of suntan lotion Ruby had earlier.

Ruby clears her throat. "O-of course! We should take care of sun safety first! Then we can play something."

"Yeah! I can kick Weiss's butt at volleyball!" Yang cheers.

* * *

Yang couldn't remember when the world descended into chaos. She raises her hands to block the next attack that came at her, the sheer force knocking her to the ground. "Blake…"

Blake runs to Yang's side. "It's ok, Yang… We can make it if we retreat and only if we retreat."

"We can't give up now…"

"Don't let pride consume you! It's two to nine! One more and we're toast!"

"It only takes two to win a fight if used right…"

Weiss waves at them from the other side of the volleyball net. "You gonna serve?"

Right. Should probably mention they were only playing volleyball. Score was Yang and Blake: 2, Ruby and Weiss: 9

No contest.

Ruby cups her hands around her mouth. "Told ya this was over before it started!" She exchanged a high-five with Weiss. "I got the speed, and Weiss has the brains!"

"B-but I can hit harder than anyone, and Blake has her clone things!" Yang argues.

"Yeah. I used those to run away. I am **not** standing in front of a ball launched by Ruby." Blake waves at Weiss and Ruby in surrender. "We're done!"

Weiss shrugs. "You two asked for the game. I just wanted to sit somewhere out of direct sunlight and read a book."

"Regret…all the regret…" Yang groans.

Weiss rolls her eyes. "You were pretty pathetic."

"I got two points!"

"Blake got two points. You got nine. To the face. And they were from Ruby and I."

Yang lets out a grunt in frustration.

"I say Yang did rather decently," Blake argues.

"Really?" Yang smiles hopefully.

"You were an adequate meat shield."

"Oh…" Yang flops back down into the sand.

"Now go cook food, meat shield." Blake stalks off.

Yang flips back onto her feet and waves Blake of dismissively. "Fine…"

* * *

Yang sighs as she works the grill, watching lazily as Ruby and Weiss have fun.

Well…Ruby was having fun dragging Weiss around anyway.

"What do people even do on the beach?" Blake asks from her spot in the shade.

"Swim? That's about it. No idea why we came here. This place is boring." Yang shrugs. "Excuse to break out the grill at least."

Blake shrugs back. "What do normal anime people do at the beach?"

"Fanservice. That's the most of it. Maybe break out a tentacle monster or two."

"You got any of those around? Mess with Weiss and Ruby?"

"Nope," Yang answers, popping the P. "I could call the pun-masters association. Heard a new guy stopped in who has bone dragons."

"…that doesn't sound safe."

"It's not."

Ruby runs behind Yang. "Sis! Save me! Weiss is armed!"

"Eh?" Yang turns to Weiss.

Weiss rolls her eyes, holding up a watergun. "You gave me this, Ruby. Pay the price."

"No! You've already been winning!" Ruby argues.

Yang holds her hand out to Weiss. "May I?"

Weiss tosses the toy to Yang. "Knock yourself out."

Yang twirls the watergun around before aiming at Ruby.

Ruby backs away. "You traitor…"

Yang winks at Ruby and fires, completely missing her and hitting Blake instead.

Blake recoils dramatically, her faunus half not agreeing with the water. "Nya-!"

Ruby, Yang, and Weiss just stood there blankly for a moment.

Ruby turns to Yang. "Did she just-?"

Blake covers her face with her book.

"Blake! You are just too cute!" Yang jumps at Blake.

Blake kicks Yang away. "Sh-shut up!"

Yang tumbles away from the blow. "Senpai why…?"

Blake walks over and takes the watergun from Yang's hand. "Now it's war."

Weiss starts to back away. "…I'm out."

Blake runs over to Weiss and stops her. "No. You are staying. You will help me defeat these sisters."

"What is even going through your head right now!?"

"Vengeance."

Ruby and Yang had taken this time to get armed.

Yang proceeds to fire at Weiss. "Don't be scared, princess! It's just water!"

Weiss recoils in annoyance. "Fine."

Ruby tosses Weiss a watergun. "That's that spirit!"

Weiss quickly steals Blake's watergun and starts to dual fire at Ruby and Yang. "Here's your spirit right here!"

Ruby and Yang start to retreat.

"W-Weiss! No fair!" Ruby squeaks between shots.

"Remember when we started your little game earlier? You told me something." Weiss keeps firing. "All is fair in love and war."

Blake stares at her game partner with a stunned expression. "…wow, Weiss. Temperamental much?"

"Says that one who dragged me back into this game." Weiss hands Blake back her gun after she was certain Yang and Ruby had retreated.

"So what's the plan?" Blake asks as she refills her weapon.

"Don't look at me. I'm just your armed victim that you weaponized for war."

"Speaking of that…" Blake hands her weapon back to Weiss. "Get to work, weapon."

On that day, Ruby and Yang were given a brutal lesson.

Weiss doesn't have a single merciful muscle in her body.

* * *

Ruby was going through her pictures of the day she had taken with a hidden cam she had made just for that day.

Mainly pictures of Weiss.

Ruby was sitting alone in the dorm, knowing Yang would mess with her if she was around. "Thank the dragon I got all of these…" She says to herself. She grins when she reaches a certain picture.

The picture she had taken of a wardrobe malfunction Weiss had during the watergun fight. Said event happened when Blake decided to distract Ruby with Weiss.

Blake was now in the hospital.

Ruby holds the picture firmly as she looks at the door. _Can I? Is is safe?_ She slowly reaches under her skirt when she was certain she wouldn't be bothered.

Then she just happens to be interrupted by a knock at the door.

She growls as her personal time was infringed upon. She walks to the door and opens it. "What!?"

A small cat-like creature was the only thing at the door. "Hello! Would you like to make a contract?"

* * *

 **Cliffhanger? Has the White Rose Shipperman betrayed his readers? Not really.**

 **This chapter had a lot of development. I wanted to use the Dragon Balls for a while but got hung up on a problem. This is Remnant. Not earth and not Namek. So I made a new dragon and a new guardian. Probably never see them again. Then came the second problem. I got team RWBY on the beach, but...now what? You can tell where I struggled. This chapter took months only because of the writer's block that gave me.**

 **News flash! In my time gone, I've been working on my writing skills! I am planning two news _Bits_ series. One for One Punch Man because...that's an anime world I could REALLY mess up. And one for...Undertale. Yeah, I know it's not an anime, but it is still world I can mess up.**


	9. Chapter 9

**My life is exploding... Here's your chapter anyway, featuring a lot of foreshadowing for upcoming chapters.**

* * *

 _Ruby hops down from the airship she had just helped destroy, leaving Roman and his new Grimm friend to burn. She proceeds through the destroyed city, making her way back to Beacon as quickly as possible. She makes it to her friends in record time and goes through being updated._

 _Yang lost her arm, Blake was stabbed, and Weiss was fighting Cinder._

 _Ruby bites her lip and makes her way through the Beacon buildings, finally reaching the peak._

 _Cinder and Weiss were locked in a battle in the skies, none of them backing down._

 _Weiss wasn't lasting._

 _Kirito runs past Ruby, having something strangely off about him. "Ruby! Get help!" He jumps off the building and flies towards the battle._

 _"I…can't leave… Not without Weiss!" Ruby mutters, typing any and all emergency numbers she has. She looks on one number in particular, contemplating calling it._

 _A little white creature hops up next to her. "Hello, Ruby."_

 _"Kyubey? Didn't I tell you to hit the road a long time ago?" Ruby asks frustratedly._

 _Kyubey simply watches Weiss fight. "She's going to die, but you can change it!"_

 _"Me?" Ruby continues watching the battle worriedly._

 _Kyubey grins at Ruby. "Just sign a contract with me and become a magical girl!"_

 _Ruby scowls at him before throwing her hands in the air. "Fine! I'll make a darn wish!"_

 _Kirito turns away from his battle with Cinder. "Goddamn it, Ruby! Don't make the wish again! This will be the sixth time I need to reset time!"_

 _Ruby makes a silent wish and takes on a glow._

 _"Goddamn it! You fucking piece of-!"_

Ruby suddenly wakes up, the whole thing having been a dream. She rolls over and lets out a pained groan.

Kyubey hops onto her bed. "Contract?"

"No. Fuck off."

* * *

 _Dear diary,_

 _Ruby brought in some sort of cat thing. Well…more like it let itself in. It won't leave any of us alone. It always asks us to make a contract for a wish. We all know by now that there needs to be a catch to it. That's just life. The problem is that Ruby is nearing the end of her wits. I know that sounds weird, but she is indeed the one breaking this time._

Weiss sighs as she closes her diary. She looks at the other side of the room, where Ruby just happened to be staring blankly out the window.

Ruby has been quiet for the past hour, enjoying the peace of silence.

"Ruby, I believe it would be profitable for both of us if you made a contract," Kyubey claims from behind Ruby.

Ruby screams in pure rage. "Shut up and leave me alone! I've had enough wishes come true! I'm not signing a contract for one!" She storms out of the room.

Yang watches her sister leave. "…I've never seen Ruby this annoyed."

"Me neither," Blake agrees.

"Me three." Weiss walks up to Kyubey. "Come on. I need to speak with you."

Kyubey hops onto Weiss's shoulder. "Are you planning to make a contract at long last?"

"I never said that." Weiss leaves the dorm and starts walking through the halls. She really had no place to be, but she wanted to keep Kyubey from breaking Ruby.

They both remain silent for a while as Weiss walks.

Then Kirito runs into Weiss, stumbling away. For some reason, his normal trench coat was a lot more…feminine in design and his hair had gotten longer.

Weiss stumbles away. "Professor?"

Kirito blinks as he looks at her. "Speak of this to no one."

"I'm sure no one would mind your admission into the wondrous life of being a magical girl, Kazuto," Kybuey comments.

Kirito glares at him. "I'm a fucking dude, you little rat!"

"You still accepted the contract though."

"For reasons you will soon understand!" Kirito pushes past Weiss. "Out of my way!"

Weiss watches blankly as her professor storms down the hall in a mood that currently mirrored Ruby's. She looks at Kyubey with a blank expression. "You appear very good at ruining people's moods."

"I had to put that in my job resume," Kyubey replies proudly.

"If I accept your contract, will you leave everyone here alone?" Weiss asks. "I'm willing to bite the bullet…for Ruby…"

"You humans and your emotions. I will never understand." Kyubey hops off of Weiss's shoulder. "I will accept your offer though."

"So you will leave Ruby alone?"

"Is that your wish?"

"Sure. Why the hell not?"

Then Kyubey exploded.

Weiss stares blankly at the bloody spot that used to be Kyubey. "…well that settles that, I guess?"

Kirito was down the hall, his five-seven pistol aimed where Kyubey used to be. "…I hate my job…"

* * *

"What is the progress on getting Kyubey out?" Homura asks as she walks down the halls with Ozpin.

"If he didn't follow you, we wouldn't be having this problem," Ozpin argues nonchalantly.

"You called me here. I am not here on my own accord."

"Touche'." Ozpin opens his scroll. "Glynda, Kazuto, what is the progress of extermination?"

Glynda groans. "We've been at it all day. The creature seems obsessed with Ruby Rose of team RWBY."

Kirito struggles to catch his breath. "You mean I've been at it all day while you sorta just pretended this isn't a problem… The thing is a plague…"

"Is that why you went through a temporary sex change?" Homura asks blankly.

"Hey! Screw you! I'm just following Ozpin's orders!"

Ozpin presses his hand against his forehead. "Why Miss Rose of all my students?"

"She is probably the most likely to break down in Kyubey's eyes," Homura responds blankly. "Oz, you called me here to teach your students a class about time distortion. Is team RWBY why? Have they been going through a lot of events that bend reality?"

"That's definitely team RWBY…" Kirito interrupts.

"It will spread to my other students eventually. I know that for fact. That is why I hired you to teach." Ozpin closes his scroll. "Miss Akemi, if you could please keep an eye on Ruby."

Homura shakes her head. "No. I don't work for you until I am allowed to move Madoka here safely. That was the main condition of our agreement."

"Meh. Weiss will figure it out. She always does." Kirito waves Homura off.

"And how many times have you reset time because she didn't?"

"Um… Six. I've negated six timelines."

Ozpin sighs. "I'm gonna get an earful from Sans for this one…"

* * *

Ruby was finally in a state of calm bliss. She was taking a run, something she was very accustomed to.

The weather was sunny, perfect for activities like this.

She flips over some rocks and plants her feet back on the ground before continuing. "Like to see that little freak catch me now!"

…then an airship appeared out of the sky, following her closely.

Ruby clenches her fists. "No… No!"

Kyubey pops his head out of the cockpit like the annoying little bastard he was. "Ruby. It is important that you sign my contract."

"No!" Ruby sprints even faster.

Kirito and Homura step out of the academy just in time to see Ruby run by.

"…apparently it got its pilot license," Homura mutters weakly as she watches the airship go by.

Weiss pushes past them. "Kyubey lives?" She turns on her plasma sword and runs after Ruby.

Kirito turns around and pulls Homura back into the academy. "I'm done… I'm fucking done…"

* * *

After an hour of chasing Ruby around, Weiss was proud to say she had succeeded in her task. She cackles evilly as she puts on rubber gloves. "You have been hurting my Ruru~ You're gonna play with me~"

Kyubey was now strapped to a table Weiss had placed in the middle of the dorm.

Yang cringes as she stands up and starts pulling Blake out of the room. "I'm not watching this…"

Blake nods in agreement.

Ruby looks at the source of her torment. "Weiss doesn't have a single merciful muscle in her body. You won't enjoy this. Especially when she's in…"

Weiss continues to cackle evilly.

"…one of these moods."

Kyubey has the nerve to grin at her. "As long as you make a contract with me!"

"How about this contract? I wish not to make a contract with you!" Ruby wishes rather cleverly.

Kyubey remains silent for a few moments, searching his emotionless mind for a response. "That's not how it works, you little shit."

Weiss returns to the table with a long needle which she proceeds to stab through one of Kyubey's little limbs. "You don't feel pain or emotion. I will experiment on you until I can make you feel it all~"

Ruby shudders. "Yeah…you enjoy that, Weiss." She leaves the room as fast as possible.

Jaune peeks out his dorm. "Ruby? Have you been ok? I've heard a lot of rage and a lot of…"

The evil cackles of Weiss's experimentation ring through the halls.

"…Weiss."

"We got a guest. An uninvited one." Ruby groans as she looks back at her dorm.

"Weiss's sister again?" Jaune steps out of his dorm and closes it behind him.

"No. A little freak of nature that has an obsession with trying to sound smart."

"…so Winter?"

"This one's a little cat creature."

"Huh. Well that's different." Jaune chuckles. "You hear that we're getting a new teacher? Apparently we need someone to teach us how to prevent alterations in the timeline. Some team has really been messing with time and space. I wonder who?"

Ruby freezes when she remembers the time-space ripple she had caused by detonating a pair of unstable hoverskates. "Y-yeah! I wonder who?"

Jaune shrugs. "Probably a bunch of naïve sickos. You watch out for yourself, ok?" He proceeds to walk down the hall. "You wouldn't want to get involved with people like that! I heard there's this really mean time patroller who really makes people have a bad time!"

Ruby nods frantically. "S-sure! You watch out as well!"

Kyubey pops up next to Ruby. "Hello, Ruby! Would you like to erase your past sins against the timeline? I could do it if you signed my contract!"

Ruby scowls at him. "How are you here?"

"Your mate accidentally killed me, so I respawned at the nearest checkpoint! I believe it is important for you to get out of your predicament before the time patrol comes to you!" Kyubey smiles like the cocky little bastard he is.

Homura walks down the hallway, stopping behind Ruby and Kyubey. "Ruby Rose."

"Eep!" Ruby hops away from Homura. "H-hi!"

"Akemi Homura." Homura pulls out her scroll, showing an emblem on the back of it. "Time patrol."

Ruby widens her eyes. _What? This soon!? Well I guess it has been a while since the distortion I caused…but I'm not ready!_

Homura frowns at Kyubey. "Are you bothering my student?"

Kyubey swallows nervously before bolting down the hallway.

"Ruby Rose, do you treasure the life you currently live? Would you consider your family and your friends precious?" Homura asks firmly.

"Um…is this a reference to something? Of course I do!" Ruby answers.

"Do you mean that?"

"Absolutely! I couldn't lie about that!"

"Good." Homura spins on her heel before going down the hallway.

Ruby watches with a blank expression. "That was something…"

Kyubey runs past Ruby again. "Excuse me, Ruby!" He bumps into her leg before bolting down the hallway.

Ruby watches curiously. "…why is he running now?"

Weiss runs by. "Come back here, little kitty~ I'm not done yet~!"

"Oh."

* * *

Ruby sighs as she watches Weiss sleep.

They were in the cafeteria so…not normal.

Yang was staring at Weiss too. "How late was she up last night?"

"She was up until an hour ago," Ruby answers blankly. "She did the insanity thing again…"

"Oh…geez…she gets creepy when she does that…"

"You think!?"

"Did she finish experimenting on the rat?" Blake asks without putting down her book.

"Would she sleep if she didn't?" Ruby asks back.

"Touche'."

Kyubey hops up next to Ruby. "Hoi, I'm Kyubey!"

Blake and Yang go silent and turn slowly to Kyubey.

"What-?" Yang starts.

"-the fuck?" Blake finishes for her.

"Oh. That's what Kyubey sounds like with emotion." Ruby reaches out and snaps one of Kyubey's legs like a twig.

Kyubey bumbles over. "Ow! You fucking bitch! I'll murder your family!"

"And that's what he sounds like when he's in pain."

Kyubey continues to curse the high heavens. "Kill me so I can respawn, you dumb bitch!"

Ruby snaps another one of his legs.

"Stop! I give! I give!"

Ruby grabs him by his head and throws him in the trash can, throwing in a lit match after him.

Kyubey ignites into a golden flame, his screams of pain slowly coming to an end.

Ruby slowly walks back to the table and sits back down.

Everyone in the cafeteria now had their eyes on her.

"Praise the lord god Monty!" Ruby screams at the top of her lungs.

Weiss wakes up suddenly and falls out of her chair. "R-Ruby!"

Ruby cringes. "Sorry." She reaches over to help Weiss up.

* * *

Now having returned to being peaceful, Ruby was now back at the dorm working on…a microwave.

They had just returned from their new class, and Ruby wanted to test something from it.

"Ruby, what are you doing?" Weiss asks from her bed.

"You remember what Professor Akemi said in class? If you ever have a time where you accidentally alter the timeline, you can bump it back into place by making a Macrowave!" Ruby places a smaller microwave in the first one.

"Are you still worried about the hoverskates? Someone would have attacked you by now if that was a problem," Blake doesn't even put down her book as she says this.

Yang's only response was to snore loudly from her bunk.

"Plus, even if you wanted to fix the timeline, you'd need a Displacement Meter," Weiss adds.

Ruby pulls out a fork and places it in the microwaves. "I need to fix this, guys! I'll figure it out when I get there!" She pushes some buttons.

Weiss widens her eyes. "Ruby! Don't start it-!"

The machine revs to life, blipping them all away to another point in time.

* * *

 _Meanwhile in another universe…_

Two skeletons were living their everyday lives in peace.

Until a certain machine started to go haywire.

Papyrus pokes the machine curiously. "Sans! Your Displacement Meter thingy is going off! And it's really loud!"

Sans groans as he sits up from the couch. "Dang… I guess I gotta go to work…" He stands up and grabs his pet rock, which now had the time patrol emblem on it.

"Sans! This is good for you! You haven't gone to work in three months!" Papyrus runs to the ironing board he had been working with previously and pulls Sans's now finely pressed hoodie off of it.

"I was hoping to keep that streak going…" Sans holds his hand up.

Papyrus tosses Sans his hoodie. "You need to do something, you lazybones!"

Sans catches his hoodie and puts it on. "I've been doing a **ton** of things. A skele- **ton**." He walks out the door.

Papyrus just stands there blankly. "Darn it, Sans!"

* * *

 **Another choppy chapter... I need to get back to writing regularly to fix this... Life won't be easy on me though. All well. I squeezed Madoka Magica and Undertale into RWBits. That's an accomplishment, right? Maybe I won't get PMs asking for Undertale anymore! At least the Undertale requests aren't as bad as the Attack on Titan requests... Attack on Titan has the most rabid, poisonous fanbase I have ever seen. Thank god I hate that anime.**


	10. Chapter 10

**My mojo is back, bringing in a chapter that I can be proud of! Now begins the mass dimensional genocide arc!**

* * *

 _Dear diary,_

 _A lot has happened since I sorta… Blipped us to another universe. I kind of ran out of bullets because….well…zombies. There are actual zombies here. This is a really strange universe, but when you bend reality, you gotta be ready for stuff like this. Crescent Rose doesn't work so well against them so I've been carrying some regular guns. Same with the others. Still don't understand how zombies are resistant to scythes… Weiss ran off to take care of something and told us to come and meet her and follow a certain line of actions. She's probably been timeline hopping just for us… I just hope we're not too late…_

Ruby closes her diary. "Yang? How close are we?"

"Almost there." Yang leads them through the dead laboratory. "At least I think. This isn't exactly our universe or time."

"Yang's right. We're about there," Blake answers.

A maniacal laugh fills the air.

"Remember the instructions Weiss gave us. Move." Ruby signals for Blake and Yang to move on ahead.

The three break into a new room.

Wires were everywhere, all connected to one large machine.

Weiss stands in front of the machine, laughing evilly as she worked the tech.

"Weiss! Stop right there!" Yang snaps, turning around when she hears the growls of approaching zombies. She whips out a shotgun and goes at them, Blake joining her immediately.

"You cannot comprehend the evil you could unleash!" Ruby adds.

Weiss remains silent as the machine revs to life, waiting for it to calm down before preparing to hit a large red button.

"Weiss! You don't want to see what's on the other side of that door!" Blake snaps, shooting at the incoming hordes with the dual automatic pistols she had picked up.

Weiss hits the button, the door to the machine opening up.

Another Weiss steps out of the teleporter.

The twin Weisses stare at each other for a few moments before the new Weiss shoots the first one in the head.

The remaining Weiss growls in annoyance and turns to Ruby. "I hate time travel and alternate dimension theory."

"Weiss!" Ruby hugs Weiss tightly.

Blake pries Ruby off of Weiss. "Dammit, Weiss! I thought we were done with this! Why would you be so foolish as to shoot an alternate dimension version of yourself!? You'll break reality even more!"

Weiss holds out an object to her alternate self's dead body. "I am no fool." She stands up and pulls her rifle off her back. "What I do now, I do so we can someday go home."

The four girls aim their guns at the upcoming zombies.

"I hope you can back that up." Yang continues firing.

The four of them charge into the fray, then the world went black.

* * *

Ruby blinks as she focuses. "What happened? I blacked out for a bit…"

"We all did." Weiss opens a map. "This universe is haphazard compared to our own."

Yang looks around in panic. "Where's my shotgun?"

"We all have regular pistols now… What happened to the actually useful weapons?" Blake asks in annoyance.

"It's called bullshit design. This universe is full of it." Weiss turns the safety off her pistol.

"Where to, Weiss?" Ruby holds up her pistol.

"I'm here for something. Sadly, I found out that time patrol was only introduced last chapter, meaning they probably want to kill us now. No pressure." Weiss picks a direction and starts walking.

Yang runs along with them. "What do you mean by that!? Chapters? You're treating this like a shitty fanfiction!"

"Because that's what this is!" Weiss screams loudly. She clears her throat. "Sorry…my sanity is slipping…"

"So…what's the plan to get back to our timeline anyway? You never told us your plan for that." Blake shoots down a random zombie without even looking at it.

Weiss drops to her knees. "You three haven't figured it out…" She slumps her shoulders, looking like she is about to cry.

Ruby gets down next to Weiss. "It's ok, Weiss… You've been gone a long time, but you can trust us!"

"Our timeline is dead! It's fucking dead! It exploded into tiny little pieces!" Weiss grabs her head in pain.

"Oh. That sounds peachy. So how do we fix it?" Yang asks. "Preferably quickly."

Weiss stands up shakily. "There is a part here that I can use to rig us a machine that can form the timeline back together."

"Then why cry about it?" Yang pushes Weiss along. "Let's move!"

"To power this machine, we'd need a lot of power. Power equivalent to what is contained in protagonists. We're going to have to start a genocide between dimensions," Weiss adds.

Yang stops. "Oh…"

Ruby shivers as a chill goes down her spine. "Who's the first on that list of people?"

Weiss points at Ruby. "…you…"

Ruby yelps and points to herself. "M-me!?"

"When I reset the new timeline, you will be brought back, but that doesn't change the fact that we will need to watch you die…" Weiss mutters. "Or that I could be without you for a few days to a few years depending on how long this takes…"

"…that's a sacrifice I am willing to make…" Ruby pulls Weiss closer. "For you."

"Not me!?" Yang whimpers.

"Of course I'd do it for you! Just…more for Weiss!"

"Wow. I feel loved."

Blake catches up with them. "Weiss…we've got a lot of company."

Weiss turns around, seeing the large horde of zombies. "What the fuck did you do!?"

They all start running.

"I found a machine gun and killed a couple hundred of them! I'm sorry!" Blake answers loudly.

Weiss looks at her map again. "Follow me!" She leads them to a room and locks it shut behind them.

Ruby cringes when the doors already start to strain. "Plan?"

"Take a weapon." Weiss gestures to some mechanical staffs.

"Magical machine stuff!?" Ruby runs over and grabs the red colored one. "How did you know what I wanted for my birthday!?"

"It's not your birthday, and that staff is Yang's." Weiss takes the staff and hands Ruby the yellow staff.

"Why?" Ruby asks, looking completely heartbroken.

Yang pulls a trigger on the staff, the top shooting fire. "Holy shit-!"

"That's why." Weiss grabs the blue staff before tossing Blake the purple one.

"Don't question Weiss, Ruby. Just grab the shaft she gives you~" Yang teases.

"Y-Yang!" Both Ruby and Weiss snap at the same time.

"Leave the useless lesbians to their lewd thoughts. We have piles of shit undead to kill." Blake aims her staff at the door.

"My sentiments exactly!" Yang twirls her staff before aiming it at the door as well.

They all leap into action the second the doors break, washing away the undead with fire, ice, wind, and lightning.

"Huh. That was easy…" Ruby grabs the blueprints for the staffs and hastily stuffs them in her pockets. "I'm taking these!"

Weiss walks up to one last zombie that is frozen in a block of ice, waving her finger in front of its face.

The zombie bites at her but misses.

Weiss nods and turns back to the others. "This is Dick. I just now named him after my uncle because they both share the same violent, shitty personality."

"And soft, shitty bodies?" Yang adds, earning some laughter from Blake.

"Hi, Dick?" Ruby greets awkwardly. "…Weiss, why are you naming the zombie?"

Yang gasps loudly. "Ruby! He's right in front of you! Don't be rude!"

"I am showing that he is friendly for now. Do not kill him or we will have a new horde to deal with." Weiss gestures for them to follow her. "We're almost where we need to be."

"Give me a bit. I **need** to do this." Ruby aims her wind staff at the ground and fires, launching herself up into the air. "I can fly!"

"Ruby, you dolt! Get back down here!"

"Nope!"

Weiss closes her eyes and counts to ten, cringing when Ruby craters onto the ground. "Have you had your fun?"

Ruby gives a thumbs up from the crater she is in.

"Good. Now let's get moving." Weiss helps Ruby up.

"Ok!"

All four of them stop when they see two familiar figures above them.

Weiss narrows her eyes. "Sun? Neptune?"

Neptune hops down from the catwalk he is on with Sun following him a few seconds afterward. "Look at you four! You break our entire timeline, and now you're just making jokes and having fun?"

"We were not-!" Weiss starts.

"All that time we put into that timeline too! We had very strict guidelines on how to make that timeline right! Well actually…we just needed to make White Rose happen. That's like the entire salvation of the universe or something," Sun interrupts.

"I had to pretend to be a nerd, afraid of water, and pretend to like your bitchy self in order to get things in motion! Do you know how that hurt me emotionally!?" Neptune adds.

Weiss tilts her head curiously. "What do you mean by White Rose?"

"Enough! You've stepped over the line!" Neptune pulls out his scroll and shows the emblem on the back of it, flashing his signature smooth grin. "Neptune Trunks Vasilias. Time patrol."

Sun holds up his scroll as well. "Sun Goten Wukong. Time patrol."

They both strike poses.

"Wow. Do you guys know how stupid you look right now?" Yang asks.

Neptune frowns. "Our poses aren't cool?"

Sun groans and yells into the sky. "Swiss fucking cheese! Goddamn it! Fuck!"

"N-now now, Sun! Calm down!" Neptune sputters.

"No! I will not! You had me work with you on these poses for **three weeks** , Neptune! **Three fucking weeks** , and it doesn't even look cool!?" Sun yells in annoyance.

The two are clearly not paying attention to team RWBY anymore.

Ruby sighs. "Should we just walk around them?"

"Yep." Weiss pulls Ruby along. "Come on, Blake. Go grab Yang."

Blake was already dragging Yang along by her jacket. "Way ahead of you."

Weiss pulls out a compass. "Where is it?"

"Wait. You've been following a compass the whole time?" Blake asks.

"It's a magical compass that points to what you want most," Weiss explains. "I stole it from a drunk pirate."

"Because that _totally_ makes sense!" Yang rolls her eyes.

Weiss smiles when she finds what she needs and connects it to a machine she was carrying, the machine revving to life.

Yang and Blake grin when the compass now starts pointing at Ruby.

"Deeze lesbians~" Yang laughs.

Weiss turns to Ruby. "Well… I'm sorry… This is it…"

Ruby smiles and hugs Weiss. "It's ok. I'll be back before you know it…"

"Ruby I…" Weiss starts to cry. "I don't want to do this because I…"

"I know, Weiss… I know…" Ruby kisses the shorter girl on her forehead.

The two cry together for a few moments in each other's arms.

"I love you, Weiss…"

Weiss sniffles loudly. "I love you too, Ruby…"

The two finally exchange their first kiss.

"Finally," Yang whispers to Blake.

Ruby hands Weiss her pistol. "Please make it quick… I don't want it to hurt…"

Weiss takes the pistol and shoots Ruby in the head, Ruby falling lifelessly to the floor. Weiss then holds her machine into the air, wisps of energy leaving Ruby's body and entering the machine.

"You did the right thing…" Blake comforts Weiss.

The three of them grieve for a few minutes.

"Oh hey!" Yang points at a familiar zombie slowly crawling to them. "Dick's here!" She shoots the zombie with her staff, killing it with fire.

Ruby suddenly respawns due to Call of Duty Zombies logic. "Whoa! …I'm alive?" She pumps her fists into the air. "I'm alive!"

Weiss turns to Ruby, more tears falling from her eyes. "R-Ruby…?"

Ruby smiles timidly and spreads her arms. "I guess I'm here to stay."

"Y-you dolt!" Weiss hops into Ruby's waiting arms.

"Well that was unexpected, but very much appreciated," Yang comments.

Blake nods slowly. "Agreed." She pulls Ruby and Weiss apart. "We're all happy here, but we need to get moving. Don't we need more energy?"

Weiss wipes away her tears. "Fine…" She holds up her machine again, making a portal right next to them. "The next random dimension awaits."

They all step into the portal, Ruby and Weiss holding hands as they did so.

* * *

 _Meanwhile…_

Sun and Neptune continue to argue loudly.

So loudly that the zombies avoid them.

A certain skeleton walks up to them. "Hey! What are you two doing!? You're supposed to be fixing your timeline!"

Sun and Neptune hop away in fear. "S-Sans!"

Sans rolls his eyes. "What does time patrol even pay you for?"

"Our bright and youthful personalities!" Neptune replies immediately.

"…you two are off the case. Return to Steins Gate. Kyouma will want to hear from you two."

"Yes, sir!" Neptune and Sun salute at the same time.

Sans yawns boredly. "I'm tired… I'll just take a shortcut…" He teleports.

* * *

 **Now I'm back in business! Next time on RWBits, RWBY will track down the protagonist of a videogame. Quite a tough one. Ruby had better be prepared for Shulk time. In other news...UnderBits has been posted for those who enjoy my insane crossovers and Undertale, which I honestly can't stop loving. Leave me reviews to show I am back on the right track!**


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter has been done for months, but I hated the quality. I just haven't found inspiration to rewrite it so I decided to post it anyway. All of my favorite Whiterose writers slowly throwing in the towel is crushing my inspiration to write. I promised this story isn't dying though, so I am doing my best for you guys. Enjoy. If there are any of you left...**

* * *

Ruby groans and drops onto her hands and knees, vomiting loudly.

Weiss sighs. "There goes the moment…"

Yang and Blake were also vomiting, but somehow being more controlled than Ruby.

"I already hate portals…" Ruby complains.

Yang pats at her pockets. "Huh. We couldn't bring those crappy weapons with us."

"We couldn't bring the good ones either," Weiss says simply, pointing out the missing elemental staffs.

They were inside what appeared to be a secure facility, not an inch being anything but metal.

"…in a place like this, do you really think we're far from other good weapons?" Blake asks simply.

"Good point, but why would we need them?" Weiss drops a bag. "I got ammo."

Ruby squeals in delight and starts reloading Crescent Rose. "Why didn't you hand this out earlier?"

"These rounds aren't meant for maggot bags. They're meant for much deadlier things."

Ruby folds Crescent Rose back up and straps it to her belt. "Ok, let's go!"

Weiss looks hesitant. "This timeline is awkward in place… It's like someone made a universe inside of a universe then…someone made a universe inside of that universe…"

"We need a protagonist to advance anyway. Let's just kill the person and bail before anything goes wrong!" Yang argues simply as she pushes Weiss to get her moving.

"For once, Yang sounds logical." Blake pushes Weiss as well.

"Why are you two ganging up on me!?" Weiss snaps.

"Because you're Ruby's waifu, so we kinda need you to make her choices for her."

Ruby skips along ahead. "Yay for cold, bloody murder-!" She stops. "…that came out way worse than I meant for it to…"

"Yeah…it did." Weiss sighs before taking Ruby's hand and pulling her into the next room.

Ruby's eyes glisten as she looks around the next room. "So many weapons!" She squeals excitedly.

"All aimed at…" Weiss points at a red, mechanical sword. "…that weird weapon we probably shouldn't touch."

"Let's touch it!" Yang comments immediately.

Weiss crosses her arms in annoyance. "It's probably set to be blown up the second someone touches it…"

"If it's surrounded by weapons meant to destroy it, then it's gotta be good," Blake adds. "That's like rule number one in the White Fang handbook. Number three in the Beacon handbook."

"That isn't in the Beacon handbook at all!" Weiss argues. "I've actually memorized the whole thing!"

"Neeeerd!" Yang says loudly.

"It had better be cool!" Ruby runs over to grab it.

 **"IS ANYONE EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?"** Weiss screams in annoyance.

Ruby grabs the sword and easily dodges the onslaught launched by the security system. "It doesn't have much weight to it… It may be a toy…"

The sword opens up and extends a beam of blue light from it.

"Nevermind! This is awesome!" Ruby squeals in delight.

Weiss bites her lip and looks around frantically. "We need to leave…"

 **"Security compromised, Monado stolen. Retrieve at any cost necessary. This is a priority one directive-!"** The security system drones loudly and repeatedly.

Ruby frowns and clears her throat. "Weiss-?"

"Yes, Ruby?" Weiss bites her lip harder.

"…I regret nothing."

"Of course you don't…"

"I bet ten bucks that we're gonna be attacked by robots," Blake comments.

"What? No! We're definitely gonna be attacked by aliens!" Yang argues.

Weiss lights up her plasma sword excitedly. "Aliens?"

"…Weiss has always wanted to kill aliens with an alien weapon. Good to know." Yang pops her knuckles loudly before getting in a fighting stance.

A metal claw grabs the doorframe.

Yang opens her wallet. "…I don't have ten lien… Sorry, Blakey…"

A golden robot peeks into the room. "You will not be leaving, Zanza."

Suddenly a blue portal opens behind them, a skeletal hand suddenly pulling them through.

"Nope! Not here! That would be more timeline breakage-!" was all they heard before the world went white.

* * *

Ruby wakes up groggily, grabbing the Monado and looking it over. "I…probably shouldn't have this with me…" She hops up onto her feet, looking at the dense forest around her. "Weiss? Yang? Blake?" She was alone. She places the Monado on her back. "I gotta find them." She looks over to see Sans passed out on a rock. "Someone died here… Skeletons are always foreboding…"

A massive hand suddenly makes a grab for Ruby.

Ruby dodges effortlessly, looking up at the monster. "A…titan? So I was in a place with magical weapons and supertechnology, and now I'm in a subpar anime!?"

The world suddenly blurs around her, timelines shifting back and forth.

 **"WHAT THE HELL IF HAPPENING!?"** She screams in panic, dodging attacks from multiple timelines. She saw enemies from movies, anime, and even videogames fly by her.

Suddenly an arm grabs her should and pulls her back into a stable timeline, Ruby's sight fading to white again.

* * *

Weiss shakes Ruby. "Wake up, Ruby! Wake up! I can't lose you!"

Ruby shakes her head as she wakes up. "Ow… I'm up…"

"You fazed in the middle of multiple timelines, but…someone helped you." Weiss helps Ruby up. "Take it easy…" She pulls out a small light and holds it in front of Ruby. "Follow the light." She moves it around slowly, watching Ruby's eyes to make sure she was following it correctly.

Ruby seems fine, getting away from Weiss after a few more tests. "Ok… Where are we?"

Yang slams down a titan. "A subpar anime."

"…I would have preferred to remain stuck between dimensions."

Blake shrugs. "I think this anime is fine."

Weiss tilts her head curiously. "I don't understand anyone's interest in anime."

Yang gasps dramatically. "Have you watched Madoka Magica?"

"No."

"Steins Gate?"

"No."

"Sword Art Online?"

"No."

"Probably best she never sees that one," Blake interrupts.

"Yeah…too much of an acquired taste." Yang taps her chin as she thinks. "Star Wars?"

"That's not even an anime, and how could I have seen it if the author hasn't?" Weiss asks.

"Weiss has lost it, let's move on. We gotta kill the protagonist." Yang starts leading them along through the forest to find civilization.

Weiss looks at her little pocket device. "…I'm not sensing the power of a protagonist in this universe. He must be too underwhelming to get power from."

"Could we kill Levi?" Ruby asks.

"Never. Fuck. With Levi," Blake replies sternly. "I want to fucking live."

Weiss still looks oblivious. "Who?"

"The one character that can put up a fight." Yang smiles as she points to large walls. "Civilization!"

"The walls means titans to kill!" Ruby says excitedly.

"If only they were actually threatening… Might have actually been fun…" Yang mutters as she takes the lead, doing so because she knew she could take hits better than the others.

"They could bite off a limb or something. I'm still weary," Blake claims.

Yang chuckles and smirks at Blake. "You really think anything could take a limb off of me?"

"…Adam when he goes full Gordon Ramsey. He'd then proceed to tell you that your arm is raw," Blake replies simply.

Eren suddenly slams onto the ground in front of them, his posture in perfect superhero landing form. "Hey ladies… Things have been rather off recently. A lot of things." He looks up at them. "I'm gonna have to ask you all to turn around and leave.

All four of them go silent.

"…did Eren just go full badass?" Yang whispers.

"The author is probably trying to get into the good graces of the Attack on Titan fans…" Weiss mutters.

Eren glares at them. "I've been killed three times this week and saved by forces I do not understand. First time was to a swordsman in a black coat, the second time was to a guy with a monkey tail and gunchucks, and the third was to a girl with black hair who appeared to be some sort of magical lesbian. So tell me ladies…you think I will let it be four?" He stands up straight and draws his swords.

"…wow. Just…wow… Author's gonna hit the budget for that one…" Weiss grumbles as she draws Mytenaster. "He's worth killing now. He's got enough overhype to generate enough power."

Ruby unfolds Crescent Rose. "Let's see if we do better than Kirito!"

"You think he remembers how useless we called him in our original timeline?" Yang asks.

Eren charges at them, swiping at all four of them with a wide slash.

Weiss jumps away. "Since he hasn't turned into that ugly monstrosity yet, I highly doubt it."

Everyone else jumps away as well.

Ruby yelps when the Monado on her back opens and her vision turns silver. She suddenly sees Yang get her arm cut off. "Yang-!" Her vision suddenly returns to normal, and Yang still has her arm. "Yang! Get behind me!" She realizes quickly that she had been shown the future because she is not foolish enough to ignore the glowey future sword.

Yang rolls behind Ruby quickly. "Got it!"

Ruby blocks Eren's next attack easily. Her vision turns silver again, showing a glimpse of Eren suddenly throwing his sword at Weiss and easily impaling her. She reacts the second her vision returns, grabbing Eren's arm and kneeing his face. "Not letting you do that-!"

Eren suddenly kicks Ruby away. "Too slow!"

Ruby rubs the area she was hit at. "That will bruise…" She quickly gets another vision of the future, tilting her head to barely dodge a blade aimed for her head. "You're actually pretty strong now!" She charges with Crescent Rose. "Weiss!"

Weiss boosts Ruby with a glyph. "I got you!"

Eren steps aside before Ruby can gut him.

"Blake!" Ruby calls immediately.

Blake throws her weapon to Ruby, using her ribbon to swing Ruby around.

Eren holds up his hand to his mouth. "Not gonna let you do that." He prepares to bite his hand.

Yang smirks from behind him. "And I'm not letting you do that~" She punches the back of his head, sending him into the blades of Crescent Rose.

Ruby cuts through the normal human easily and rolls to stop her momentum. "We did it!" She pumps her fist in the air once she was certain it was over.

"You say that like there was any doubt." Weiss holds up her pocket device to absorb Eren's dying energy. "I can make another portal."

"Can…we not?" Ruby asks. "I wanna sit down here for a little while…"

"Ruby, all timelines are starting to corrupt and fall into chaos. I need to be perfectly honest and say **we have no time to take a fucking rest.** " Weiss opens another portal. "Ruby… I don't understand the timelines anymore. I'm realizing that a lot of what we encountered in our world was from these other worlds. A lot of our memories are of a timeline that was already faulty. Our original timeline was broken, but it was ours. We need to return to that one."

"That would explain why we just happened to bump into Kirito and Homura back then…" Blake jumps through the portal before anyone else.

Ruby walks slowly through the portal. "Whatever you say, Weissy~!"

Yang tackles Weiss through the portal. "Taking too long! Let's go!"

* * *

Ruby blinks as she realizes she was stuck between timelines again. "Crap… At least nothing is attacking me this time…"

Sun smiles at her. "That's right. Neptune was smart enough to isolate you here!"

"In the middle of buttfuck nowhere?" Ruby asks.

Neptune shrugs. "Never said it was a smart plan. Listen to what I have to tell you a listen well. You're working to repair our timeline, but remember not to repair it too much. Everything in moderation. If you fix reality entirely, it will lead to a chain of events that will lead to **the fall of Beacon, the loss of Yang's arm, and the possibility of the absolute end of White Rose shipping in this universe**!"

"So you're not gonna try to kill me this time, but you will tell me to not do things perfectly? Ok." Ruby looks around. "Will you guys help us?"

"Nah. We're off the case!" Sun stood next to Neptune. "You've got a high-ranking member of Time Patrol on your ass now! This guy is scary as hell!"

"Lovely…" Ruby mutters sarcastically.

"Whelp! Better open you a portal back!" Sun gets in a weird pose and starts some weird dance. "Fu…"

Neptune mirrors Sun's movements perfectly. "-sion!"

They touch their index fingers at a perfect time. "Ha-!"

What happened next was so bad that Ruby blanked it out of her memory…

* * *

Ruby wakes up slowly. "That…was so dumb… Where am I?" She feels the soft grass under her.

Weiss looks around slowly. "…no clue." She looks up slowly. "Why are we outdoors and still have a large ceiling thousands of feet above us?"

Yang swallows nervously as she looks around. "Guys…this is Aincrad…"

Blake looks just as nervous. "Our next protagonist to kill is…"

Ruby looks over the beautiful plains of floor one. "Kirito…"

Yang reloads her gauntlets. "Let's kill a goddamn overpowered bastard!"

"How hard could it be?" Weiss leads the way.

"At least we're not fighting Saiyans." Blake drags Yang along.

* * *

 **Yes I gave Ruby the Monado and didn't have her meet any Xenoblade Chronicles characters. There is a reason for my madness.**

 **More explanation time. This project may have been too big for me to do alone. This is a story that relies on crossovers, and...I was an overly sheltered kid! I only got into watching anime a few years ago, so I really don't know that many. I am taking time to catch up on the best of the best anime that I have been requested to crossover with, but that takes time. Especially when Fairy Tail has a couple hundred episodes and it is the most requested crossover. I just want you all to know that I'm not quitting yet. It will take a long time, but I am not quitting.**

 **So... Next time I finally do what many have requested and make fun of SAO. No matter how much I love that anime, I can admit faults. May the god of this story (me) have mercy on Kirito's soul.**


	12. Chapter 12

***Kicks down door* MISS ME?! So this took a long time to write. I lost my writing drive because my laptop broke down. Between that and job searching, things spiraled into chaos. This isn't one of my best chapters, but it is what I have...**

* * *

The wonderful beautiful world of Aincrad. Truly a wonder of modern technology that many would never get to enjoy. While others...may have less than good opinions of it.

"This game fucking sucks!" Yang flicks through her inventory. "Nothing makes any goddamn sense!"

"At least our current equipment is high-levelled, and we didn't need to do much grinding to catch up with it," Blake comments, searching the forest path in front of them with her much more sensitive eyes.

"The inventories are so darn slow to navigate! This could kill us!" Yang growls in annoyance.

Weiss and Ruby flick through their inventories, going through every page within a split second.

"I think we'll be fine," Weiss grins smugly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save the impressive fingerwork for the bedroom, girls," Yang teases with a wink.

Ruby and Weiss blush brightly, followed by some awkward throat clearing.

Ruby heads to the floor portal. "Um...what floor was it again?" She starts thinking to herself. "And where even are we in the timeline?

"Maybe near the end? I assume that whatever version of whatever person we're fighting, we'll be going against the worst," Weiss says simply.

"We're fighting Kirito… Literally the embodiment of death after all of the overpowering he has been given…" Ruby eventually has the portal take them to a forested area. "Ok, keep your eye out for a log cabin-"

"So we can burn that fucker to the ground!" Yang pumps her fist up.

Ruby places her hand on the ground, her eyes glowing as she gets a vision. "Definitely do not burn his cabin into the ground. The best way to get what we want is to talk it out."

"Are you sure?" Yang slumps her shoulders. "Darn…"

Weiss grabs onto Ruby as the world starts to shake. "Um… Ruby, is that normal?"

Ruby blinks a few times and places her hand on the ground again to refresh her future vision. "Good news bad news time… I remember what part of the story we're at, and...it's the end of Aincrad."

A few moments of silence pass.

"Panic?" Yang asks after they are given time to process it.

"Absolutely not! That's the worst idea! We just need to leave this area in time. How long do we have?" Weiss turns to Ruby. "And where are we going?"

"We need to kill the protagonist, so we need to get to the top of this place. In fact...way higher." Ruby looks up and starts pulling Weiss along. "We've got one hour, people! Walk and talk!"

"I can figure out a way to get us higher. What obstacles do we have?" Weiss asks as she opens her inventory to go through it.

"The least twenty-five floors should still be active, I think." Blake taps her chin as she thinks. "Absurd to clear, but...I'm sure we'll find a way."

Yang pulls out a teleport crystal. "Then I'll see you all on floor seventy-six!" She teleports off.

"I'll keep her out of trouble." Blake teleports after Yang.

"What could go wrong?" Ruby asks, not knowing just what she is asking.

 **Floor 81**

Weiss dodges quickly and spins Myrtenaster's dust cylinder. "Dust isn't working!"

"Crystals aren't working! I'd assume that's why!" Yang keeps trying to use a healing crystal. "Dammit! Who makes items not work-?! Did Bungie make this as the sequel to the Destiny series-?!"

"Nonsense. If this was the sequel to the Destiny series, all of our weapons would be nerfed, and all of our sword skills would be replaced with fluffy hugs and sensual deepthroat kisses." Blake dodges an attack from the boss they are fighting.

"What even is the boss anyway?!" Ruby keeps using the Monado to glance into the future and make sure everyone is safe.

The boss itself...is a hand that is constantly flipping them off. It attacks with literal fingerguns.

"I'll tell you what it is! A REALLY STUPID BOSS!" Weiss performs a five-hit sword skill before jumping away.

 **Floor 87**

A few more floor bosses, and team RWBY is noticeably more tired and jaded.

Even now, they are looking to fight the next boss.

Weiss stumbles along behind the others, noticeably more tired than them. "My lungs...are trying to kill me…"

"Well you rely on dust a lot. Makes sense. I rely on being hit a lot, and my HP is constantly threatening to leave me." Yang suckerpunches a random enemy, sending it spiraling away and into oblivion.

Weiss pulls out a little picnic basket. "How about we all eat to recover some HP? I made this at our last rest stop."

"Eating doesn't recover HP," Ruby sighs.

They all go silent for a straight minute.

"Are you kidding me-? Eating is like the top way to recover HP in videogames! WHAT IS THE POINT OF A HIGH LEVEL COOKING SKILL?!" Yang looks on the game manual, mentally pleading that Ruby is wrong.

"Maybe to give you the pleasure of dining upon the corpses of your fallen enemies," Blake answers with a demonic grin. "Adam would be proud~"

"If food gave healing or special effects I'm pretty sure most food would end up dropped," Ruby adds.

Weiss opens her basket anyway and hands out some wrapped sandwiches. "Well it's better we eat before the boss anyway so we can keep up our stamina. Even if this game is too faulty for high level food to heal HP."

Yang and Blake open their sandwiches and take big bites.

"Hot damn… Weiss is getting better! Thank your friend for teaching Weiss, Blake!" Yang starts eating quickly.

Blake shrugs. "Adam would do better, but it's nice to not have to ask what the mystery meat is."

Ruby blinks at her sandwich, not having made herself take a bite. "...wow." She has a cookie sandwich with two chocolate chip cookies as the bread and the filling being vanilla cream and strawberries, the top cookie having a little heart of icing on the top.

Yang looks over Ruby's shoulder. "Aw~ Weiss made Ruby a special treat~!"

"S-stop looking at it and eat it, dolt…" Weiss blushes noticeably, still being a tsundere even after all the time that has passed since she admitted her feelings.

"Oh-! Right!" Ruby takes a big bite and chews happily, enjoying the sweet treat Weiss had made for her.

Weiss wipes off Ruby's mouth with a napkin. "Still try to be clean about it, at least!"

"Sorry-! It's so good-!"

Yang sighs softly as she watches the two lovebirds, suddenly feeling rather lonely compared to them. "Maybe I'm starting to become a pessimist, but how can they be so happy when our time is so limited?"

"We'll make it." Blake wipes off Yang's mouth just like Ruby did to Weiss. "Don't worry."

Yang blushes softly and quickly downs the rest of her food. "I-I'm going on ahead!" She runs off as fast as possible.

Blake watches Yang run off ahead. Cute.

 **Floor 95**

"Stupid boss of the minute. What do we got?" Weiss asks as she walks into a boss room.

"I wouldn't test it. It could be something really powerful." Blake walks up behind Weiss and looks around for where the boss could be hiding.

A normal sized pillow falls onto the floor in front of them.

"...what?" Yang pokes the pillow with a stick.

The pillow suddenly mutates into a giant pillow with jagged teeth and glowing red eyes. It takes a bite at Yang, but Ruby pulls Yang away quickly.

Ruby unfolds Crescent Rose as she lets go of Yang. "Am I supposed to be surprised?"

"Better than Sheeptar," Yang says simply.

Weiss gestures to the boss then looks over at Blake, her eyes narrowing as to say, "Told you it would be stupid."

"Yeah, yeah… I know." Blake draws Gambol Shroud.

 **Floor 100**

Ruby stops in front of the Ruby Palace, knowing what powerful boss lies behind the door. "This is actually a serious boss. We're really underpowered and don't have near the proper number of people to attempt this, but we're low on time so we don't have any options except to go for it."

"Well, we've handled worse." Yang kicks open the door without any restraint.

"Well...I hope we have." Blake follows Yang in.

Ruby looks up at the monster one-hundred times her size. "...wow. That is much scarier in person."

"I kinda feel sorry for those who haven't watched Ordinal Scale, because that truly brings out the appreciation for this thing." Yang gets into a fighting stance.

"Probably has something to do with not having seen a description for it yet within the writing of this story," Weiss adds.

"...what?" Ruby looks over at Weiss.

Weiss doesn't even respond, rushing at the towering boss and starting a stab combo.

"It's game time, motherfucker!" Yang jumps up and decks the boss in the face, sending it back a few steps. "Switch!"

Blake jumps up after Yang and stabs at the boss's eyes. "Switch!" She tosses her ribbon to Yang.

Yang grabs onto the ribbon and lets herself be pulled forward. She spins into a punch to send the boss back farther. "Ha! This is easy-!" She is suddenly knocked away by the boss's giant fist.

"Yang!" Blake spins around quickly to go after her but finds herself being knocked away too.

"Dammit!" Weiss keeps stabbing at the boss, but the boss starts to heal itself.

Ruby runs around with Crescent Rose. "We can do this! Just keep trying!" She stabs Crescent Rose so deep into the boss that she can't pull it out. "I'm sorry, my baby…" She leaves Crescent Rose behind and draws the Monado, using a future vision to dodge an attack from the boss.

"I AM TRYING!" Weiss looks up just in time to be stepped on.

"Weiss!" Ruby blurs around quickly, swing the Monado as fast as she can, but she's barely doing any damage. "W-we're not enough-!"

Yang stumbles slowly back towards the boss. "Not with that attitude!" She is suddenly kicked back again, cratering loudly into the wall. "...maybe we're not enough…"

Ruby pulls Weiss out of harm's way and runs to get some distance. "Back up! I'll handle this!" She sets Weiss down before curving right back at the boss.

"Are you stupid-?! You'll get yourself killed!" Weiss screams after her.

"I haven't taken any real damage yet!" Ruby jumps up to go for a stab in the monster's chest. "I'M REALLY FEELING IT!"

Let the shackles be released, a voice echoes through their heads.

Ruby thrusts the Monado forward right as it ascends into the Monado 2.

The boss explodes with one hit, and the room goes quiet.

"Holy shit," Blake mutters as she watches Ruby fall. "We lived!"

Weiss looks ready to have a heart attack now, but she forces herself to stand up.

Ruby lands and raises her available hand, conveniently catching Crescent Rose. "THIS IS TENGEN TOPPA! THIS IS GURREN LAGANN!"

"...sis, the mood has passed already. You're supposed to say that before you attack. Plus, that is the most wrong thing you could have said anyway." Yang sways a bit on her feet, just as ready to pass out as the rest of them.

"No time to talk about it. We have five minutes left." Weiss runs out the door.

Ruby collects the final sword drop from the boss and checks the stats. "...I should hang onto this." She bolts right after Weiss with Blake and Yang running behind her.

Weiss opens her inventory and drops all of her item and gear drops onto the ground. "Everyone! Pile up all the items and gear!" She opens a strange glyph under the pile.

"Look at all of the equipment drops the light novel and anime never bring up!" Blake opens her inventory as fast as she can.

Yang looks at Weiss's strange glyph. "Is that a goddamn transmutation circle?!" She drops all of her items and equipment with Ruby and Blake.

"We can discuss my time as a state alchemist later!" Weiss slams her palms onto the ground. "Just hope this works!"

Ruby pulls up the timer.

Two minutes left.

Weiss transmutes the weapons and gear into a four-person man-cannon. "Get in or die!" She hops in quickly.

Ruby uses Crescent Rose's scope to look for their target and angles the cannon to the first dot in her sights. "Aimed and ready!" She jumps into the now tight and uncomfortable space.

"Ow! Yang! Move your fat ass!"

"My ass is just right, thank you very much!" Yang snaps back.

"I actually like bigger butts," Blake comments randomly.

"Th-then maybe mine is a little big-!"

The cannon fires and sends them flying.

"THIS IS WORSE THAN INITIATION BY ONE-HUNDRED TIMES!" Ruby pulls out the final sword drop she got and throws it to where she hopes their missing protagonist is, and at that same moment, Weiss pulls out her little teleportation orb.

* * *

Ruby slowly opens her eyes. "Did...we make it?" She looks around, noting that she is alone in a weird underground village. "Um… Crap…" She stands up and dusts herself off. "I guess we got separated… I'll just hope I find them soon."

No one was in the village, and that was creepy enough.

Ruby sighs and walks into the first tunnel she sees, hoping it is a way above ground. "I can't believe I just killed Kirito… I can feel the internet erupting with both joy and sadness."

A glowing green light starts flickering in the corner of her vision as if trying to get her attention.

She slowly turns towards the light and reaches for the glowing object. She rubs dirt off of the object with her thumb before looking it over.

It is a familiar-looking drill-shaped pendant.

Ruby goes silent for a few moment. "...oh, hell yes."

* * *

Yang slams onto the ground in some random area covered in lava. "...well that was a trip." She turns around to see a fiery dragon looking at her. "Wassup?"

"I dunno. 'Sup?" The dragon asks back.

The two stand there in silence for a solid minute.

"...wanna learn fire dragon slayer magic?" the dragon asks.

"Bitchin'!" Yang replies.

* * *

Blake and Weiss are the only two lucky enough to end up next to each other.

Weiss looks around in pure panic. "WHERE IS MY RUBY?!"

Blake scans the peaceful area. "...and where is Yang?"

The two girls turn around when they hear footsteps behind them.

"Is it that saiyan again? I told him we're not dealing with visitors today!" Beerus storms around the treeline and stops when he sees Blake and Weiss.

Blake slowly steps back. "Make...no sudden movements."

Whis follows Beerus and stops after he sees the two girls as well. "Oh my! Could that be who I think it is?"

Beerus slowly steps towards the two. "My...long lost daughter."

Weiss looks at Blake's bow and puts two and two together before pushing Blake forward.

Beerus stops in front of Blake and gazes deep into her eyes.

"Um… Hi?" Blake waves slowly. "I don't really know you…"

"I don't know you either." Beerus steps rudely around Blake and places his hand on Weiss's head. "Weiss… My daughter… I thought I'd never see you again."

Weiss gets confused spirally anime eyes. "What?!"

* * *

 **Yes, I had to make a joke out of the fact that Weiss's father and Beerus share the same voice actor. I do not at all regret the choice. I was going to make this chapter much longer, but really everyone else has said all that needs to be said about SAO. I will say that I am building up something big that hopefully everyone will enjoy!**

 **This chapter is rather choppy because I wrote it at several different times. I really wanted to get back to this story much sooner, but life got in the way. Mainly the fact that I am a jobless bum. I'm thinking of opening a little page to support my return to regular writing because there's so much more I want to do! So many "Bits" stories I want to make for other anime, games, and movies! As of now, if you want to show a little support, I am an editor for a small, barely-existing Youtube Let's Play channel if anyone wants to PM me for directions. (Asking in reviews for directions looks unprofessional! Be fancy and pish posh!) Maybe some day...I'll be able to live off of editing and writing... A true, beautiful dream... No pressure to anyone!**


	13. Chapter 13

**It's me again! After the positive reception to my return, I thought I'd mash out another chapter as quick as I could! I hope you all didn't miss me too much!**

* * *

Weiss sits awkwardly at the god of destruction's table, a large pile of familiar foods laid out in front of her. "I'm...not hungry."

"Nonsense! You're so skinny! You should eat first before you do anything!" Beerus pushes more plates towards her.

"I'm...on a diet." Weiss looks over to Blake for help.

Blake shrugs. "Don't look at me. He's apparently your father."

"He is not! My father is…" Weiss closes her eyes and thinks back. "...why don't I remember?"

Whis suddenly taps Weiss's head with his staff as if to check what is going on in there. "You've deconstructed your whole universe. When you get it back, I assume it will have changed. Now your head is full of different paths your life could have taken."

"But that doesn't explain how he-!" Weiss points at Beerus. "-is my father!"

"Your mom has a voice fetish," Whis and Beerus reply at the same time.

"...I don't believe this. Why would I believe this-?!" Weiss starts sorting through her thoughts again.

Beerus narrows his eyes at Weiss. "Well you are missing your ears and tail…"

Blake grabs Weiss's hand and pulls her out of her seat. "We actually need to go look for Weiss's girlfriend and my partner, so we'll be going as soon as possible. I'm sorry you didn't get to spend more time with your daughter, Lord Beerus-EEP!" She yelps and jumps away as an energy laser barely misses her.

"She'll leave when I say she can leave! Do you know how hard it is to get past Jacques's restraining order? DO YOU?" Beerus summons a small death ball of energy.

Blake swallows loudly and sits Weiss back down. "Y-you should eat something, Weiss."

Weiss rolls her eyes and looks over the food. "Do you have anything...low on salt?"

Beerus just intently stares at his "daughter", no doubt showing true experience at being a father.

"...maybe a...salad?"

"What's a salad?"

Weiss groans and grabs a slice of greasy pizza, looking mortified as she sees what drips off of it. "This isn't in my diet at all…"

"Well maybe it will put some meat on your bones… I don't know what your stepfather has been feeding you!" Beerus watches like he is experiencing Weiss's first words.

"I'll have you know I am perfectly healthy!" Weiss takes her first bite, immediately looking disgusted.

"After you're done eating, we'll do something just the two of us! We'll go blow up a planet so you will finally learn of your true powers!"

"...yay…"

Blake watches the two continue talking, looking slightly amused. "I never thought I'd see anything this weird in all of my years of life."

Whis looks at the orb on his staff. "Hmm… It appears we have another-"

Yang suddenly kicks down the door, a deranged look on her face. "I'M ALIVE! MISS ME, MOTHERFUCKERS?!"

Beerus glares at Yang and fires a death laser at her.

"Wait! She's friendly!" Weiss says just a bit too late.

Yang suddenly ascends to Super Saiyan Blue and deflects the attack. "YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHERE I HAVE BEEN! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU GUYS FOR TWO-HUNDRED FUCKING YEARS, AND I LOST MY ABILITY TO AGE!"

The room goes silent as they all process what they have seen.

Blake slowly walks over to Yang and hugs her. "It's ok, Yang. You're safe now. We'll fix your caps lock and everything."

Yang passes out in Blake's arms and immediately starts to snore.

Weiss huffs and crosses her arms. "That's Yang, but now where is my Ruby?"

"Your Ruby? Are you talking about that girlfriend your friend was speaking of? As your father, we should be introduced as soon as possible. So I can destroy her," Beerus comments.

Weiss stands up quickly. "Hurt my Ruby, and no force from heaven, hell, or anything at all could save you from my uncontrollable burning rage."

Beerus clears his throat. "Of course. I was simply joking."

"He wasn't," Whis laughs cheekily.

"Don't tell her that!"

Weiss casts a glare that could bring anyone to their knees. "Maybe we really should be going. We need to find Ruby."

"And how will we do that? Yang is passed out and probably insane, and we'd need to kill Goku himself to recharge the orb. We're stuck," Blake argues.

"What the fuck is a Goku?" Weiss tilts her head curiously.

"Well if my daughter wishes for it, I could just destroy planet earth and everyone on it," Beerus offers.

"Actually a really good course of action…" Blake looks back at Weiss. "Your choice."

"Well...we have to figure out where Ruby is first. Ruby is and always will be my top priority," Weiss answers, a grim look on her face as she thinks about where Ruby could be.

"Well I could take this fellow angel and ask around about a dimension hopping girl." Whis picks up Yang by her jacket.

"Angel-?" Blake blinks in confusion. "What?"

"Oh? You don't feel it? She has power deeply associated with angels coming off of her." Whis shakes Yang to try to wake her up.

Yang blinks slowly as she actually does wake up. "Tell McDonalds not to do a limited time szechuan sauce event… Everything will turn into chaos…"

Blake slaps Yang quickly. "Snap out of it! I need you in my life!"

Yang blinks more rapidly. "Oh hey, Blake! What did I miss?"

Blake sighs in relief. "Not much."

"Good. Because two-hundred years can make memories a little shady…" Yang tries to think back to when she was last with them.

"You all can handle the locating. I'm taking my beautiful daughter, and we're going to destroy earth!" Beerus moves around the table to place his hand on Weiss's shoulder.

"Oh?" Whis narrows his eyes. "Will you be able to make it there without me?"

"I'll call in a favor. Just make sure to pick us up."

Weiss follows Beerus as he leaves but looks back at Blake and Yang. "Find our Ruby, ok?"

Yang gives Weiss a thumbs up. "Like I'd leave my own sister lost in another reality! She is probably in the most danger of her life and is in infinite suffering!"

* * *

Ruby wipes the sweat off of her forehead as she finishes repairing and remodeling her Lagann. "I'll need to name you now…"

The Lagann was now changed to have a more feminine head shape, and the face had been changed to some feminine eyes and the rest of the face was a large faceplate. The mech has been painted red and white and was covered in rose designs.

"How about...Whiterose? I like it! It's got a ring to it!" Ruby finishes up her work and climbs into the mech, powering it on and closing the top hatch. "Time to drill to the surface!" She pushes aside some containers of dangerous chemicals she had used to clean up the mech. "Not a good idea to bring these with me, but I need to be able to maintain my mech!" With that, she makes the mech start drilling towards the surface.

Needless to say, she's happy and as safe as she could possibly be.

* * *

Weiss looks out the window of the appropriately named "space limo". "So...you called in a favor for this?"

"I actually slaughtered three planets for it," Beerus replies casually.

Weiss bites her lip and goes silent, feeling the awkward air. "Um… I don't mean to be rude, sir-"

"You may address me as your father."

"Right… Father… I don't see the family resemblance, so are you sure this isn't a mistake? There's a big multiverse out there…" Weiss still isn't comfortable with this in the slightest.

Beerus places his hand on Weiss's head. "I believe your stepfather may have hidden them-"

Weiss suddenly gets a pair of white cat ears and a white cat tail, turning her into an adorable, little faunus. "Wh-what-?! PUT THEM BACK! PUT THEM BACK NOW!"

"I...don't know how they were hidden in the first place." Beerus does look worried at his "daughter's" distress.

Weiss puts her hands over her new faunus ears. "No... This will ruin my reputation…"

"If it makes you feel any better, I think your…'girlfriend' would like it. If not, you can destroy her."

The ride finally comes to a stop, and Weiss climbs out as fast as she can.

Weiss stays motionless for a bit before looking down, finding no ground below her feet. "...well damn…" She quickly makes a glyph under her feet. "Why are we floating in space-?!"

"Who destroys a planet while standing on it? Other than me anyway." Beerus moves behind Weiss and massages her shoulders. "Now, blow up the planet."

Weiss looks awkwardly towards earth. "...I don't know what you expect me to do."

Beerus tightens his grip on Weiss's shoulders. "You know! Blow it up! Then I'll post it onto godtube and show it off to your Uncle Champa because he's never going to spawn children!"

"...yeah, I can't do that. I don't know what power you expect of me." Weiss points her finger at earth, her eyes widening when she fires off the most pathetic energy laser in Dragon Ball history. "Oh. Were you expecting that?"

Beerus just watches the beam fade before it gets anywhere. "...you tried." He blows up earth for her.

"Well it's not like I enjoy genocide on a global scale…" Weiss is much more focused on trying to retract her new faunus features anyway.

"Whis should come to pick us up soon. Get ready to find your significant other. If you're going to keep jumping dimensions, you may want to perfect your destructive power."

"Said destruction power is not something I want to be casually carrying around!" Weiss snaps in complete annoyance.

Beerus almost looks hurt. "Being a father is hard…"

* * *

Ruby is currently out of Whiterose and is looking for civilization. "Maybe I should have just stayed underground."

"I sometimes say that to myself as well," Sans comments as he walks up behind her. _She's so close! I can kill her, fix the timeline, and be home in time for pie and a nap! Hell yeah!_

Ruby turns back to him. "WHAT THE FUCK-?! TALKING SKELETON-?! BAIL! BAIL!" She hops into Whiterose and has the mech bolt.

Sans slumps his shoulders as he watches her run away. "...why do I always get the hard jobs? Why couldn't I just take up teaching like Homura?" He sighs and casually walks in Ruby's general direction. "I still need to train that newbie...who I don't even remember his name. Was it Natsuki Subaru or was it Satoru Fujinuma? I swear, I deliver more random exposition than anyone else and still don't get much time being written about."

Ruby continues flooring it until she is a good distance away from the monster trailing her. "Well that was a much easier escape than I expected. Now how do I find the others-?"

Weiss, Blake, and Yang suddenly teleport in front of Ruby.

"Stop! We're from the future!" Yang says quickly.

Ruby stops her mech immediately. "Really?"

"No! But we're leaving now!" Yang grabs Ruby before Weiss teleports them all away.

* * *

Team RWBY takes deep breaths as they enter their next world, thankfully much more safely this time.

Ruby steers her mech around a bit. "It's good to have us together again!" She jumps out of the mech and excitedly tackles her girlfriend to the ground. "Oh my goodness! You have cute kitty ears, Weiss!" She pets the new faunus features excitedly.

Weiss lets out a grunt as she is tackled to the ground, placing a quick kiss on Ruby's forehead before pushing her aside and getting up due to not wanting to talk about her new features in the slightest. "As nice as this all is, going through dimensions is getting more unstable. Expect to be separated more often." She places her teleportation orb back into her pocket. "Now where are we?"

Blake looks over to a castle in the distance. "Judging by the architecture… England? Maybe?"

Yang walks over to a road sign and starts looking at the location names on it. "Hmm… Luna Nova Magical Academy, ten miles away."

* * *

 **Sorry this chapter was a bit rushed. I start a new job tomorrow, which means I won't be bumming around and writing. (Like the useless piece of garbage I am.) I do have a way you all can support me now if you'd like chapters to come out more often though! I finally have a P-a-t-r-e-o-n page! It will be the underlined title below.**

 **I-M-Raygun Writing**

 **If you can't support the cause, do not worry! Chapters will still come out when I can make them, but...don't expect them to be coming out quickly. But if I do get enough support, I will try to increase the quality of the chapters as well as the speed they come out. And if things go AMAZING I will start writing my own light novels. (I say that, but I've already been writing them...) I may even revive some of my old fanfics!**

 **Now then, time for author's notes done proper! This is the part of the story where we get to see the proper buildup of messing with reality. Team RWBY is getting objects and power far beyond what they started with. Also for those who know what the Monado actually is...well, you know that if Ruby is carrying it around so casually, something is going to go down. Yang has apparently ascended somehow! Ruby can see the future! Weiss...is more adorable... Blake...shoot, I forgot I haven't given her anything yet... For those who aren't having fun with this, don't fret! Team RWBY will be fixing themselves when their timeline is fixed! Maybe! Not gonna spoil!**


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